With the Middle East conflict raging and the world on fire, the clowns – Barack Obama, John Kerry and Russell Brand – offered more liberal brilliance. With that, here is the news of the week.
President Obama called Hamas “irresponsible.” He also thinks Pol Pot was a knucklehead and that Bashar Assad’s behavior is disappointing. Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin just took a dog, named it Obama, castrated it, and shot it in the middle of the street. Obama expressed concern.
Nancy Pelosi called Hamas a humanitarian organization. Like Israel, the Pelosiraptor’s brain is not occupied territory.
After her meltdown on the House floor, this Edith Bunker wannabe is being encouraged by Republicans and her fellow Democrats to “stifle herself.”
Fred Thompson is set to visit the Gaza Strip. Once Palestinians rebuild their homes, they are eligible for reverse mortgages.
The Palestinians are right about one thing. Confining 1.8 million people into a small area like animals is cruel. Enough about New York City.
Hamas wasted millions of dollars rather than spend it to help their own constituents. Hamas leaders are expected to run for Mayor of Chicago.
Obama called the Gaza population “dense.” They certainly are. Taken out of context it is still true. Flash back to “History of the World, Part I.” When told “the peasants are revolting,” the French King replied, “they certainly are.”
The leftist media is analyzing whether pictures of dead children are Gazan or Syrian so they will know when to care and what to report.
If Barack Obama and John Kerry had a child, it would be Russell Brand.
Hamas has said there will be no ceasefire until all their demands are met. Like many college professors, Hamas does not live in the real world. The only people dumber than the Palestinians at this point are the State Department employees who still think they can be reasoned with.
A couple years ago the Seahawks beat the Cardinals 58-0. The United Nations accused the Seahawks of “disproportionate” force, claiming the Seahawks could have stopped at 10-0. The UN was going to bring charges of human rights abuses against Seattle Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll. Once it was determined that Carroll is not Jewish, the matter was dropped and the 58-0 bombing was considered part of doing battle. The Arizona Cardinals are still rebuilding from the damage, but the Seahawks should not apologize for having a superior fighting force deployed legally in a battle. Palestinian defenders had no response.
Liberal Hollywood Jews can be counted on to stand up when it does not matter. They condemn Penelope Cruz for bashing Israel while getting ready to back Hillary Clinton in 2016. Hillary’s hobbies include kissing Suha Arafat after she accused Jews of poisoning Palestinian children.
Jews brought the world Albert Einstein, Charles Krauthammer, Elie Wiesel. Palestinians brought…umm, well (crickets chirping).
Of course Jews give more to Earth than Palestinians. Jews had a multi-thousand year head start.
Right now some “dead” Palestinian children, as soon as the cameras leave, get up, wipe the ketchup off them, and walk away laughing. Their “parents” then return them to the prop department.
Hamas said they will not lay down their arms until all their demands are met. They are almost as belligerent as Obama.
A speech by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is like an Obama or Kerry speech, except it matters.
President Obama is repeatedly late to his press conferences due to clothing delays. It takes time to decide which empty suit to wear. Only a true gasbag would keep the world waiting when he and they know he has nothing to say.
Obama is the only man people wish would hurry up and start talking and then immediately wish he stop talking.
Obama’s media trick is to give long rambling answers to questions to take as few questions as possible. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, never before in history has one man said so much, and yet said so little.
Christians fleeing Iraq are ineligible for asylum in the United States until Obama can ensure they vote Democrat.
From Rwanda to the Kurds, liberals talk human rights & social justice but let people die. Climate change is a bigger priority.
300 Rabbis begged Obama to release Alan Gross, an American falsely imprisoned in Cuba. Obama has a pen and a phone, and he may use them to let 300 Rabbis know that he is “concerned.” If Alan Gross was a Nigerian girl, Obama at least would offer a hashtag. For an elderly Jewish guy, draw your own conclusions. Liberal Jews voted for him. Deep down they know other nations would never imprison Americans with a Republican in the White House. They keep telling themselves that Obama cares if they live or die. Alan Gross has his answer.
Smugness and incompetence are race neutral. Barack Obama is a smug, condescending pompous @ss pointy headed academic who happens to be partially black and terrible at his job. John Kerry is a smug, condescending pompous @ss pointy headed academic who happens to be lily white and terrible at his job. America has finally reached racial equality for the least qualified among us.
Obama’s TSA is offering up to $15,000 for ideas on speeding up airport lines. The best idea remains firing Obama’s TSA.
Since Guantanamo Bay is closed, all Ebola carriers should be sent to a secure area: Martha’s Vineyard.
How many illegal immigrants are being fed and sheltered at the White House. They can be housed in George Clooney’s White House room.
After insisting Americans conduct themselves with humility, Obama chastised the media for not praising him more. Obama considered hiring Russell Brand as his drug czar.
August 4th was Day 1 of Year 53 of Barack Obama’s endless lifelong celebration of his very being.
While it is no longer Obama’s birthday, fear not. He assured us he will act like it is today through eternity.