Hillary Clinton Insists Her Server is Clean: She Would Know. She Cleaned It

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The once inevitable Hillary Clinton coronation has been delayed. Democrats are so desperate for an alternative that they are turning to a 73-year old socialist.

Bernie Sanders does not exactly point toward the future.

Democrats desperate to look forward-thinking are even considering Joe Biden, Al Gore and John Kerry. Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson were unavailable. They were busy having their names scrubbed from every monument in every blue state. It is one thing for Democrats to support dead people. It is another thing altogether to support those who never existed.


Meanwhile, all the focus remains on Hillary Clinton and her server.

Hillary Clinton now insists her server is clean. She would know, wouldn’t she? She cleaned it, after all…

Asked about her server, a confused Hillary Clinton thought the FBI was asking about all 300 million Americans.

Hillary Clinton insists her server has no classified information. She never told the White House Chef or Gardener anything.

Told to surrender her server, Hillary Clinton said she’d happily give up Cheryl Mills, Huma Abedin and her other aides to protect herself.

Hillary Clinton gave up one of her servers two decades ago. Her name was Susan McDougal. Hillary has tons of servers willing to go to jail for her.

Hillary Clinton turned her private server over to Federal investigators, who are debating whether to destroy it accidentally or purposely.

A partisan Hillary Clinton was hiding her server. Now she turned it over to a partisan Obama FBI who will also keep it hidden. Nothing has changed.

Comedians are praying that Hillary Clinton’s server contains naked Anthony Weiner pictures he sent to her in error. Comedians pray even more that she forwarded them. 

The Democrat 2016 presidential field consists of old whites only. The GOP field contains Hispanics, a black man, and a man of Indian descent. Democrats are partying like it’s 1860.

Rich white liberals can’t find a single non-white to run for president because they don’t know any. Many in Malibu and the Upper West Side of Manhattan have never even met one.

Pro-lifers are wrong to claim that babies have hearts after 20 weeks. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are several decades old and they still don’t have one.

Attempting to alter the uninspiring Democrat field, liberals are drafting George McGovern’s corpse to run in 2016. He has actively voted since he died. He may be too moderate for today’s Democrat Party. He also may be too ethical.

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