Era of the Stupid: Students Petition to Change ‘White Man’ Pedestrian Crossing Lights to Reflect People Of Color

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I know when I come to an intersection and I see the stick figure pedestrian crossing light to “Walk” and it’s in a white light outline, I feel incredibly oppressed – especially when the “Don’t Walk” figure is orange. I don’t know why though. And neither do these dumbsh*it students who want the “White Man” stick figure changed because people of color are not represented.

These are really, really good times when you’re biggest problem in life is that you are this stupid with your spare time. Seriously, this is not a joke – Campus Reform Correspondent Ethan Cai asked George Washington students if they supported changing “offensive” crosswalk lights because the “walk” sign only portrays an image of a white man.

Would they be willing to sign a petition demanding a ban on the ubiquitous — say it ain’t so — white stick figure that signals “Walk” on pedestrian crossing signs, on account of its dastardly oppression?

If you guessed “yes” then you win a cookie. Not made of white chocolate.

In the past, students have signed fake petitions to ban “offensive” holidays like Valentine’s Day and even Christmas to push diversity and inclusion. So why not ask them about the crosswalk man? And is he a man or does the lack of a penis mean he’s safe for the other movement, which I cannot mention because I will be banned on Social Media?

Campus Reform went to George Washington University in Washington, D.C., where students previously voted to ban their “offensive” Colonials mascot. GW students also previously told Campus Reform that President Barack Obama is the best president in U.S. history.

“That’s so cute! Oh my god yeah,” a student said with excitement about the idea. “I can see like, I guess, why some students have a problem with it… I’ll totally sign that.”

Watch in horror, or laugh – knowing you did some pretty stupid things at that age as well:

By signing the petition, students “vehemently urge[d] the University to consider changing the crosswalk signs.”

Many students signed Campus Reform’s fake petition. Even one university faculty member expressed support, as well.

“There’s definitely a lack of representation,” one student said about the crosswalks. Another said that she thought the change would be “one step” to a more welcoming campus environment.

It’s almost as if you can hear the air leaking from their brains as they speak.

I wonder if any of the Woke Warriors — in an effort to banish the white light — have considered that light itself is white? In fact, in the video, they’re also standing in — yea, they are absolutely bathing in — white light. The light of the sun. They’re drenched in it. In the horrible, inherently and unbearably evil color of white.

No word yet on how they’ll be able to see the stick figure if it’s changed to black — the absence of all light. Will people being hit by cars be less “problematic”?

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