Colbert Celebrates With Impeachment Eve Tree Decorated With Lindsey Graham’s Cojones And Carols

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CBS Late Show host Stephen Colbert is simply giddy over the impeachment proceedings against President Trump that started today. No word still on Obama’s ‘flexible’ commentary to Putin’s number two during his tenure. That’s nothing… but Trump even saying ‘Ukraine’ is a crime. Go figure. So, Christmas has arrived early for the left and the media is drooling over it today. I’m sick of it already.

Colbert is all fired up with Lindsey Graham’s cojones represented on his Impeachment Tree and carols celebrating the hearings. Disgusting. One wonders what represents mistletoe in his misbegotten imagination. He’s been dreaming of this day for a very long time and it is upon us. Colbert was gleeful in presenting his decorations:

“It’s got all the traditional ornaments,” Colbert said. They included:

  • A star made from “the transcript of Trump’s ‘perfect’ phone call.”
  • A snowflake ornament called “quid pro snow.”
  • Pictures of other presidents who have been impeached.
  • What he called “my favorite. It’s Lindsey Graham’s balls,” which turned out to be a, uh, bronzed testicular-looking ornament. “He’s not using them these days,” Colbert quipped.

Colbert pretty much covered all the bases, even the obligatory slap at Fox News:

“Let’s see, what’s going to happen tomorrow? First up, we’re going to hear from top U.S. Envoy to Ukraine and secret love child of Orville Redenbacher, Bill Taylor. In closed testimony, Taylor confirmed that U.S. aid to Ukraine had been explicitly tied to Ukraine’s willingness to investigate Mr. Trump’s political rivals, and discussed an “Irregular channel” of policymaking that included Rudy Giuliani. What’s an irregular channel that includes Giuliani? Oh, Fox News.”

Evidently, he’s so excited he can’t sleep. I doubt he has slept at all since Trump was elected. That may be why he acts like such a shmuck. It would certainly explain his Trump Derangement Syndrome here.

“A snap in the air means we’re heading into our favorite season because it’s impeachment eve,” Stephen Colbert said at the beginning of his monologue. “Tomorrow it’s the first day of televised impeachment hearings. I am so excited I won’t be able to sleep… so like every other night of the Trump presidency.”

From Hot Air:

“The public impeachment inquiry hearings are expected to be broadcast gold, even the BBC is carrying them live. BBC is using the live coverage as a substitute for the normally scheduled Parliament coverage, as Parliament has been dissolved. C-SPAN will provide gavel-to-gavel coverage, for which they are known. Cable networks are covering the hearings and the alphabet broadcast networks are pre-empting regular daytime programming – no daytime talk shows, game shows, or soap operas for the at-home folks. PBS is carrying live coverage (sorry, Sesame Street kids) and will rebroadcast the hearings in primetime on the WORLD Channel. You may remember former host Bill Moyer wanted PBS to rebroadcast the hearings in primetime so a wider audience could watch. In other words, you have no one but yourself to blame if you don’t watch. It’s everywhere.

“The hearings are expected to bring a high amount of viewership, so all of the networks and cable channels are hoping to score big ratings. There is no getting around the circus-like atmosphere. If, like me, you intend to watch, get comfortable. We’re going to be here a while. I remember the Nixon impeachment hearings, back in the day. Times are different and this process has been different than that of Nixon’s. Time to pop the popcorn.

“Impeachmentmas is upon us.”

Dozens of witnesses started testifying today over Trump’s conversation with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, where he inquired about the past business dealings of former Vice President Joe Biden’s son Hunter in Ukraine. He did nothing illegal or that rises to the level of impeachment. But onward we go with this faux witch hunt that will almost certainly be shot down in the Senate.

Trump denied any wrongdoing in his phone call with Zelenskiy. He tweeted: “Why is such a focus put on 2nd and 3rd hand witnesses, many of whom are Never Trumpers, or whose lawyers are Never Trumpers, when all you have to do is read the phone call (transcript) with the Ukrainian President and see first hand?”

Trump continued: “He and others also stated that there was ‘no pressure’ put on him to investigate Sleepy Joe Biden even though, as President, I have an ‘obligation’ to look into corruption, and Biden’s actions, on tape, about firing the prosecutor, and his son’s taking millions of dollars, with no knowledge or talent, from a Ukrainian energy company, and more millions taken from China, and now reports of other companies and countries also giving him big money, are certainly looking very corrupt (to put it mildly!) to me. Both Bidens should be forced to testify in this No Due Process Scam!”

On Monday, Trump also tweeted that he would release a transcript of his first phone call with Zelenskiy this week to further prove his innocence.

This is all political Kabuki Theater and is a massive waste of time, effort, and money. Let’s not handle the country’s affairs… let’s make up stuff that is untrue to impeach a sitting president whose only crime was beating Hillary Clinton. No wonder Colbert’s favorite decoration is Graham’s cojones… Colbert has none and has to pine over someones. Good choice Stephen.

Sources: Hot Air, Breitbart, Mediaite, Deadline Hollywood, Newsweek, The Wrap, Grabien

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