You Are No Longer Allowed To Boil Lobsters

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Swiss lawmakers are upholding their constitution’s pledge for “animal dignity” by banning the boiling live lobsters “because they feel pain.”

Short of state-enforced vegetarianism, Switzerland has passed a law that will regulate not only the handling of lobsters, but also the importation of foie gras and the correct number of hamsters a person should keep in their home.

While the lobster rules only apply to restaurants, there’s no doubt that the home is the next target. Other animals kept at home are now subject to new rules: cats must have “daily visual contact” with other cats, and hamsters must be kept in pairs.

The left-wing Social Democratic Party have authored a new law, set to take effect in March that will ban restaurant chefs from boiling live lobsters, instead requiring them to “render them unconscious” first. Lobsters will be electrocuted or stunned, and then stabbed with a knife, before being committed to the pot.

Flimsy Evidence

In 2013, a study from the Queen’s University in Belfast, Ireland admitted that while it’s impossible to “prove beyond doubt that animals feel pain,” they said that their tests on crabs showed their reactions to being shocked was “consistent” with pain, saying “Perhaps we should err on the side of caution.”

The study leader accused humans of being ignorant of the possible pain of animals. Very rich, coming from a man who has been administering electro-shocks to crabs. At least people who consume crab and lobster kill the animals nearly instantly, which is a kinder fate than what has happened to the many men who die on fishing expeditions.

This wishy-washy study has been upgraded to the following:

“We know that among some of the larger crustaceans, such as lobsters, they do not feel conscious pain in the way that we do.”

Now that’s a stretch if I’ve ever heard one. But why the focus on lobsters, when Switzerland is land-locked?

Poor Man’s Food, Except In Europe

Our forefathers over in Europe considered their  lobsters to be valuable and therefore expensive. The European Wild Lobsters were mostly served to the aristocrats in France and the Netherlands, and it made appearances on the richly-laid tables in Dutch paintings.

But, in North America, wild lobsters were so common that their shells were used to fertilize gardens and its consumption was associated with poverty. Kids from coastal areas who ate lobster for lunch at school were considered to be poorer than the students who had bologna in their sandwiches.

It wasn’t until WW2 that lobster made its biggest transformation in value, because it was not rationed out like other foods. With past improvements in lobster traps that kept them alive longer, richer people living inland of North American realized that lobster is delicious.

For me, lobsters are still purchased straight off the wharf. With the elastics still on theirs claws, we’ll engage in barbaric activities like teasing the dog a bit or trying to race them across the floor. But when it’s time to eat, there’s only one way to cook them properly: Take a live lobster and put it into extreme heat, whether it’s boiling sea water, a steamer or a barbecue for ten minutes per pound. Serve with butter, and start an argument over whether the female lobsters taste better than the male.

I’m close to more than a few people who have worked on the lobster boats, so I know from experience that there’s no more ethical way of killing a lobster for consumption that plunging it straight into boiling salt water. What’s the plan here? Electrocuting them? Bashing their little faces in with a tenderizer? God forbid — going vegan?!

Halal’s Fine, Though

Last year when the legislation to ban the important of “inhumanely slaughtered animals” was first drafted, an immediate uproar was raised other whether this would apply to kosher and halal meat. At the time, there were 18,000 Jewish people and 450,000 Muslims living in Switzerland. The Jewish population import 140 tonnes of kosher-certified meat per year and the Muslims have been slaughtering their animals in-country.

The lefties who wrote the bill have sworn that the bill does not apply to restrictions on kosher and halal-certified meat.

How Do I Know You’ve Never Been On A Farm?

There’s no reason to get on the level of these nuts. Everything they know about animals was learned from books and propaganda. Their pets all have papers. Their real reasons for wanting to ban lobster boiling and to regulate hamster ownership has nothing to do with the animals and everything to do with control, and sticking their noses where they don’t belong.

See Also: Swiss group to allow assisted dying for elderly who are not terminally ill.

Yes, it’s true that small animals like bunnies and hamsters should be paired. They’re social creatures, and frankly they’re often the first animal that parents will buy their children to teach them about responsibility and loss before allowing them to move on to a dog. It’s up to parents to make those decisions, not the government. Frankly, I think that children are the same way, and that it’s cruel to have an only child and prevent them from having contact with other kids their age, but good luck getting the government to mandate that.

Oh, to go back to the time when you learned early that life wasn’t fair and you should avoid naming your barnyard friends because they were all destined for your plate.

Sources: Bangor Daily News, Gizmodo, The Independent, Reuters 

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