Saggy Pants Law Proposed In South Carolina: Pants Down, Hands Up Goes the Song

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The legislative body of South Carolina is busy doing the people’s work.  They have carefully crafted and passing legislation making it illegal to wear saggy pants.

Mission accomplished, everyone can go home, the world is good, nothing to see here – anymore.

The law would make it illegal to wear your jeans or anything else; “three inches below the crest of the ileum”. The ileum is “the third and lowest division of the small intestine, extending from the jejunum to the cecum”, according to

I know what you’re thinking: Anybody wearing their pants around their knees probably can’t pronounce these words, much less know what they mean, much less know how to Google them.

Just based on this definition I am already foreseeing problems with this law.  I did not even know what ileum meant.  Are police officers really going to be determining this?  Perhaps they will be armed with x-ray machines to make an exact assessment.

Shouldn’t they just have made it against the law to show your butt crack?  That is easy to determine.  But wait, I am sure there are already laws covering public nudity.

BIG QUESTION: Does this apply to plumbers? How about Joe the Plumber?

The bill is mostly supported by Democrats, but, amazingly, this bill has support from both Democrats and Republicans!


Breaking the saggy pants law would result in monetary fines and community service.  It would be $25 for a first offense, $50 for a second or three hours of community service, and $75 for a third offense or six hours of community service.

Democrat Wendell Gilliard is the co-sponsor of the bill and said, “We have to lead by example.  It is necessary because it’s not getting any better”.  He said that people are now wearing their pants BELOW THEIR KNEES.  Of course, that is stupid.  But should it really be illegal?  I do not thinking leading by EXAMPLE means passing another law.  Leading by example would be wearing your pants the way they are designed to be worn.

As much as I hate the look and the fashion trend of saggy jeans, I do not think government has any business policing fashion trends.

Don’t the police have better things to do than enforce this silly law?  I am sure they do, and I would guess they are not happy about turning into fashion police.   What about the cost involved in the enforcement?  What is next, banning hats worn crooked to the side?  Banning tops with holes in the shoulders?

Perhaps the resources being used to have police enforce a silly law like this would better be used in securing our schools!

There are other problems with this proposed legislation.  Passing a law like this is just begging for a lawsuit from the ACLU for discrimination. It could be suggested that this law unfairly targets African Americans as it much more of a trend in that community than others.  It also could be argued to be a violation of the right to freedom of expression.

On the plus side, all of this brings back fond memories of General Larry Platt’s song, Pants On The Ground.  Enjoy!

The the ordinance applies to both genders and all races, but of course this is going to trigger calls of racism, because… well, everything does nowadays, but if you ask me – legislators of South Carolina need to put on their big boy and girls pants and move on to more important business.

They’re not the first though: A city in Florida doesn’t want people showing off their ‘whale tails,’ ‘plumber’s cracks’ or boxers on public property so much that they banned the saggy-pants fashion statement within city limits.

The city council of Ocala, Fla. agree with the anti-saggy in SC and unanimously passed an ordinance that prohibits anyone on city property from wearing pants two inches or more below a person’s natural waist.

What I want to know is how officers were supposed to measure the distance between a suspect’s natural waist and the waistband of the pants. It’s not like seat belts, which are either being worn or not. Guess they’ll have to walk around with yard sticks and stop, frisk, measure and bust. Pants down, hands up bitches.







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