How does it go? Ice Cream, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet? At one time, there was nothing more American, right? And wouldn’t the modern version be; Ben & Jerry’s, 7-Eleven, Trader Joes and Burger King?
Nope. Those days are gone and some of America’s most famous brands have fallen into foreign hands. And I’m not talking about the Clinton Foundation either. Below are some of the most popular companies you can no longer call American.
The one right out of the gate is pretty surprising, actually… Take a look:
Budweiser? The King of Beers? Spuds McKenzie? Clydesdales? Superbowls?
Don’t be fooled by Budweiser’s cans that say “America” on them, this beer is now owned by a Belgian company (which owns practicly all the beer in the world, btw).
The history of Budweiser dates back to the 1850s when a German, Adolphus Busch, moved to St. Louis and married the daughter of local brewer, Eberhard Anheuser (she was hanging out under the arch, looking for some rich foriegn dude, local legend says – but who could blame her? Been to St. Louis lately?)
Bud eventually became the nation’s largest beer producer, despite the fact that it tastes like Clydesdale piss if you ask me. In 2008, the company was sold to those drunk-ass Belgian’s for $52 billion. Ten years ago, my friends.
You don’t see that on the commercials, do ya?
Ben & Jerrys
Owner: Dutch-British Unilever
Those two commie-hippies want you to think that holding hands, singing kumba-ya and voting Democrat is the way to happiness, but that’s only for you.
The fact is they sold their company to multinational consumer goods company Unilever for $326 million. Pretty sure they haven’t given many interviews about politics since. Been busy ordering around their non-union servants on their islands and sleeping on beds made of money.
Easy to be a smelly socialist with all that dough, eh? Cookies and Cream indeed!
Burger King… wtf?
Canadian Restaurant Brands International now owns the Whopper and that stupid King
In 1954 James McLamore and David Edgerton opened a small hamburger shop called “Insta Burger King” in Miami, selling 18-cent hamburgers and milkshakes. Three years later, they dropped the “Insta,” added a gas grill, and created the signature “Whopper” burger.
In 1967, the duo sold the chain to the Pillsbury Company and it became the second-largest burger chain in the US after McDonald’s. Today, it’s part of Restaurant Brands International, a Canadian fast food company that was formed when Burger King merged with the Canadian coffee and doughnuts chain Tim Horton’s.
Have it your way, suckers!
German discount supermarket chain Aldi Nord is the new Joe the Trader
More California hippies, what are you gonna do?
Yep. You gotta have all-natural, all goodness, good for you, nice, calm, easy-going, non-uptight, organic, low-fat, non-aggressive atmosphere, fresh, no additives, lactose-free, whatever and who better than the Germans to see that Americans get everything they deserve?
If you think Aldi Nord sounds familiar, it is. Aldi’s. Yeah, that craptastic chain of stores everywhere? That’s Trader Joe’s with a different label. Feel better?
Trader Joe’s dates back to 1967 when California-based convenience store owner Joe Coulombe decided to start stocking obscure and discontinued foods in order to give himself an edge over impending competition from 7-Eleven. “Obscure and discontinued” – aka old and past their due date.
The first Trader Joe’s store is still open in California, but the business has since changed hands. It was bought by Theo Albrecht, owner of the German supermarket brand Aldi Nord, in 1979. That’s how long you’ve been duped into believing that over-paying for that shiitte means you’ll live longer than those losers over at Aldi’s.
Just like Roger Stirling and Don Draper couldn’t hold onto their Lucky Strike account, neither could the owner of Lucky Strike themselves. Hey – did you know they’re “toasted”? Just like your lungs if you smoke ’em…!
Because Lucky’s are owned by British American Tobacco company (a British tobacco company – don’t let ’em fool ya).
Lucky Strike, once America’s top-selling cigarette brand (thanks to Mad Men smoking them by the truckload 24/7) was established in 1871 in Virginia and subsequently taken over by a large American tobacco company, who fooled the consumer into believing they were good for you as long as they could.
It fell into the hands of the Brits in the ’70s when the British American Tobacco company bought its former owner. If you smoke these bastards, buddy, you got a habit.
General Electric (appliances)
General Electric appliances have been a staple for US consumers for over a century, made special by their “Made in America” logo… however…