I have a soft spot for a**holes; those semi-aggressive jerks who brag too much. I used to be a little afraid of them until I stood up to a few.
The thing is they were reflecting an aspect of myself I did not want to deal with. In the right crowd I was a braggart, bully myself.
So once I cleared that out of my psyche, well– mostly cleared it out of my psyche– it became apparent how well guys like that respond to kindness.
Guy code is interesting and subtle: tone and pitch of voice, body posture, hand shakes, facial postures ( for lack of a better word) all transmit communication. I will not be messed with, please mess with me, I am kind– unless you mess with me– can all be communicated without saying a word. That last one is probably what I communicated the most in recent times.
However, with Spring comes new growth and hopefully I will communicate, I am kind, whether you mess with me or not, as Christ teaches me to do. After all messing with someone, in reality, communicates I feel unsafe and unloved; it is a defense mechanism that has nothing to do with me.
Anyway the world is a perfect mirror, so if you are running into a lot of assholes, there is still some a**hole in you, afraid and alone, waiting to be loved.
Here is an example of what I am talking about. When my church started making meals on Sunday for low income and homeless people after one of the meals one guy tried to man up on me and I manned up back; we almost got in a fight.
This past winter I was running the overnight shelter at the same place. I manned up twice on a drunk bully, telling him to be more appropriate with women. That set up kind of a duel between us. He showed up the very next night, drunk again, and sort of prancing around the place. I was about to man up and shut him down, but I had the thought, “Pray and watch.” So I started praying for the guy and sending him love. It was like magic, he seemed to relax a bit and so did I; we ended up having a great conversation, and have since become friends.
You got a little a**hole in you? I say love him out of existence, pretty soon birds will be chirping everywhere you go, just to make you feel happy. Hobo John here, need a friend? You have one in me. I love you with everything that I have.