If This is True, Then I Get to be Elvis…
Nothing like a good conspiracy theory. Most of them are just “out there” – but some of them are just plain insane.
And, I’m really Elvis.
I would recommend some adult beverage before you watch this one. It’s OK if you pause the video and refill. Several times.
That’s a fact.
“JonBenét Ramsey became Katy Perry. That’s a fact,” declares a faceless voice, over a screenshot of the Ramsey murder Wikipedia page.
“JonBenét Ramsey did not die, nobody died, nobody got hurt,” he says.
But she was sacrificed: “That sacrifice was in name only, and that sacrifice was to get something, and that something was to become a star.” The gist, extracted from seven minutes of creeping pans and easygoing voiceover, is this:
- Perry’s parents (Keith Hudson and Mary Perry) don’t look completely different from Ramsey’s parents (John and Patty Ramsey). Just like Ted Cruz doesn’t look completely different from Robert Kardashian, I guess?
- There’s a resemblance between photos of young JonBenét Ramsey and Katy Perry, highlighted by an eerie Photoshop cross-fade that provides enough nightmare fuel to keep your nocturnal demons well-fed.
- Ramsey was killed by strangulation, evidence of hidden Masonic forces at play. “See how they always put the non sequitur inside the story to catch those that have not done their work,” says the narrator.
This kind of casually unhinged rambling often seems like the background noise of the Internet, omnipresent but ignorable. That said, the video has more than 27,000 views; an updated video with nearly three minutes of added footage has more than 11,000 views.
One of the great stories of the 20th Century. And the 21st too.