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Jim Gilmore trailed Iowa Caucus frontrunners: The Comedy of Coverage~


Jim Gilmore and Martin O’Malley shocked the world in the Iowa Caucus.  In further news, Hillary Clinton is ethical.

100% of Rand Paul supporters supported Rand Paul. This was the Iowa Caucus Rand Paul report.


An elderly revolutionary crackpot was tied with an elderly female felon. A metrosexual pansy won 1%. This was the Democrat Iowa Caucus report.

99.9% of Donald Trump‘s employees supported Donald Trump. The few that did not have been fired. This was the Donald Trump Iowa Caucus report.

Martin O’Malley supporters disappeared faster than Hillary Clinton‘s emails.

Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton’s game day pants are too small for Hillary Clinton. This was the Super Bowl 50 Iowa Caucus female fat-@ss report.

15,000 college students backing Bernie Sanders proudly cast their votes in Nebraska. Bus driver James Carville had no comment.

Told that Donald Trump and Ted Cruz were in a dead heat, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders blamed climate change.

Asked about reducing Iowa Caucus irregularities, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders both cited Metamucil.

The star above the 8 on keyboards is the Martin O’Malley key.

The Democrat Iowa Caucus race was so tight that Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were both drinking extra prune juice.

Martin O’Malley dropped out after Googling himself once more to find out who he is and what he is dropping out of.

Bill Clinton was ordered by Hillary Clinton not to offer any consolation to Mrs. Martin O’Malley.

On Day 1 of a ‎Donald Trump presidency, he vowed to carpet-bomb Iowa. New Hampshire was put on notice.

Mike Huckabee dropped out. Five minutes after dropping out, he sent a dozen roses to Roger Ailes asking what Ailes was doing every Sunday until the 2020 Iowa Caucus.

When Marco Rubio said, “I want to thank an all powerful almighty God,” a confused President Barack Obama insisted that he still backs Democrats.

The Iowa Caucus was so close that HillaryClinton and Bernie Sanders asked Al Gore for David Boies’s phone number.

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were separated by .08, the legal limit required in thebloodstream to support these Socialist lunatics.

Hillary Clinton screamed in her post-Caucus speech like the love child of Elizabeth Warren and Howard Dean. She is one angry woman.

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders each got 50% and Martin O’Malley got 1%. This totals 101%. Democrats love Common Core math. Tallies of how many dead people voted are still to come.

Martin O’Malley‬ flew to Las Vegas Monday night to return to his old job as the green zeroes on the roulette wheel.

12 Iowans courageously voted for Jim Gilmore. Watch out, New Hampshire!

This was the 2016 Iowa Caucus report.


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About Author

Baron Von Kowenhoven

Baron was just a shy kid with a dream, growing up in the 40's with a knack for story-telling. After a brief career in film, Von Kowenhoven went to Europe in search of fringe-scientific discoveries and returned in the 90's to unleash them on the entertainment and political landscape of America.

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