Harry Reid Sues Over His Rubber Band Smacking His Eye

0 50

You remember Harry Reid’s story about him working out in his bathroom on New Year’s Day with a big rubber band. The band slipped off whatever he anchored it to and smacked him in the eye nearly blinding him.

There was a great story that went around to the effect that Harry owed the mob some money from gambling debts and they pounded him. Then there was another story about how his brother beat him up. The guy that fronted that story eventually said he made the story up.

Frankly I liked both of those stories and I’d be happy to say that Harry and his powerful owners got to them. But I’m not Alex Jones.

The story took another twist today when Harry filed suit against the band manufacturer.

U.S. Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) is suing a company that makes and markets a flexible exercise band that he says slipped from his hand, causing him to fall and suffer eye, face and rib injuries on New Year’s Day.

A lawsuit filed Tuesday in Nevada seeks more than $50,000 in damages for the Senate minority leader from Nevada and his wife, Landra Gould, from Thera-Band maker Hygenic Intangible Property Holding Company and related companies.

Reid’s lawyer, Jim Wilkes of Florida, declined to comment beyond the 16-page civil complaint filed Clark County District Court.

Harry’s lawyer may not be interested in commenting but lawsuits are public record and the fun is just beginning .

The document also alleges that the senior citizen “has suffered and continue to suffer from severe pain and injuries, including, but not limited to, loss of vision in his right eye, a concussion, broken orbital bones, severe disfigurement and bruising to his face, hand injuries, facial lacerations, scarring, and broken ribs.” In addition, wife Landra Gould alleges she suffered a loss of marital union. The complaint detailed on page 15, “As a result of the negligent act(s) of the Defendants, Plaintiff, Landra Gould, was caused to suffer, and will continue to suffer a loss of consortium.”

In legal terminology, the loss of “consortium” refers to the “inability of one’s spouse to have normal marital relations, which is a euphemism for sexual intercourse.”

In other words, Harry’s not getting laid anymore. At least to his wife.

Image

Just because they’re in their 70s doesn’t mean they don’t get some snuggle time once in a while. But $50,000? Come on.

You might also like