Pope Francis spoke before a joint session of Congress. While Jews just finished their holy day of Yom Kippur, the man wearing a yarmulke in Congress was actually Catholic, not Jewish.
The Pope kept praising Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Magnum. What does Tom Selleck have to do with this? What would Higgins say? Pope Robin Masters would not say.
In his Washington, DC address before Congress, Pope Francis had no answer for why the Redskins are so awful. He thinks the New York Giants will cover the four-point spread.
While the language barrier made Pope Francis’s address tough to understand, he still made more sense than any of President Obama’s State of the Union speeches.
When addressing the Syrian refugee crisis, Pope Francis did not say how many Syrian refugees the Vatican is taking in. The Papal mansion can fit hundreds.
Ahead of his visit to the City of Brotherly Love, Pope Francis did not say whether it is ok to be in favor of abortion if you think the child will grow up to be Philadelphia Eagles Coach Chip Kelly.
It is fine to have a Pope from Argentina, but we cannot have a Pope from England. He would be incomprehensible. British Papal Encyclicals would sound like Lady LeShurr.
Either way, Jews everywhere wished Pope Francis well during the Yom kippur holidays. Good Yontiff, Pontiff!
Jews supporting the Iran deal were told that they did not need to wait for Yom Kippur to atone. They can apologize now. Then they can stop bowing down and worshiping a false idol chanting “Yes, we can!”
Meanwhile, there was news outside of Pope Francis.
Can people love Pope Francis even if he is hard to understand? Of course. People loved Yogi Berra.
Yogi Berra’s best line was when his son said, “Dad, somebody’s here for the Venetian blind.” Yogi Berra replied, “Tell him I gave at the office.” RIP Yogi.
While Pope Francis was pleading for tolerance, the Council on American Islamic Relations was feigning outrage over American concerns that a Muslim president may try to implement Sharia Law.
Sharia Law is like being married to Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama, only less restrictive.
Also in Sharia, it is the women who get beaten for being outside alone, not the men.
Lastly, getting stoned under Sharia does not involve cannabis.
Somebody should ask terrorist group CAIR if they would accept a Jewish president. Then watch them squirm like Joy Behar at a nurse’s convention.
Saying Joyless Behag offended someone is like saying Palestinians blow stuff up. Who cares? Water is wet.
To apologize for her insensitive remarks about nurses, Joy Behar is holding a fundraiser where she will shave her armpit hair, burn her bra, and donate the remnants to the Black Lesbian Equine Carping Hags, known as BLECH for short. Extra proceeds will be donated to a gay black Muslim nurses association.
Republicans are constantly being asked to apologize for things that other people may have said that most people did not hear or understand.
Ann Coulter said words about Jews in an inartful manner. President Obama is giving Iran the bomb to eliminate Israel. Time will tell which event bothers liberal Jews more.
New York Times Exclusive: Do Muslims cause climate change? If not, why won’t the GOP deny it? GOP won’t disavow remark nobody heard!
MSNBC Exclusive: President Obama called the GOP hostage takers, terrorists and racists. Should Donald Trump apologize for not disavowing Obama’s words?
President Obama is not a Muslim. It is physically impossible. Islam requires worshipping a higher power than yourself.
Pope Francis wants action on climate change. American liberals don’t trust our corporations to self regulate on climate change, but they do trust Iran to self regulate.
Maybe liberals believe the mullahs are less dangerous than American businesses creating jobs and powering the USA economy. Maybe if every American business was owned by a Muslim screaming, “death to America,” the greeniacs would leave them alone.
In case Jake Tapper asks, #StopAskingStupidFlippingQuestions is my Secret Service code name.
I would d say more about CNN GOP debate but I need it to end first. Jake Tapper is now asking candidates what kind of tree they would be.
The debate was so long and tedious that Jake Tapper has been invited to host the 2016 Academy Awards.
If CNN wants people to watch something for over three hours, they should start showing football.
In shrill Hillary Clinton fake feminism news, most men said that they are fine with a woman President provided a man is Chairman and CEO.
Hillary Clinton has still gotten more people killed than all remaining 15 GOP presidential candidates combined.
This was the Pope Francis Yom Kippur Encyclical.