Key To A Happy Marriage?

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Brie Gowen is a busy wife and mother juggling home life with a career as a Intensive Care Unit Nurse. Together she and her husband of six years, Benjamin Gowen, have two girls — a five-year-old and a two-year-old — and a third on the way. They also share custody of her husband’s twelve-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.


From Independent Journal:

Gowen …loves marriage, and is incredibly grateful for her husband. And for this reason she recalls a morning when she was jolted awake, only to find herself alone in her bed.

Her husband? Nowhere to be found.

“The side of the bed to my left was empty. In fact it was untouched,” she writes. “That side of the bed was still tidily made, and that told me two things. One, I really had slept like a rock. And two, my husband had not come to bed at all last night.”

She remembers the day before, when he filled up her near-empty gas tank, and all of the days before that, when he performed small acts that showed her how much he cared.

“Yet he wasn’t in my bed,” she says.

As she makes her way towards the bathroom, she sees it.

“There on the living room floor lay my husband, surrounded by three girls, and one of them was actually sprawled out across his chest.”

She realizes that in order to ensure she had a good night’s sleep, her husband and the girls had a slumber party in the living room.

Her husband had even gone so far as to make sure the youngest didn’t make a peep, despite her incoming molars.

Extreme gratitude came over her.

“I had slept hard, and good. I had drove to work with plenty in my gas tank, and I had arrived on time. But mostly I had walked into work feeling loved and appreciated.”

Acts of kindness go a long way, especially in marriage. In today’s world of hectic routines, caring for little ones, deadlines at work, feeling loved and appreciated is sometimes all moms really need. 

“My husband and I work to communicate on all issues, make time together alone, without the children, and are quick to praise the other spouse’s efforts.

I leave my husband love notes and he always compliments the things I do around the home. I make nice dinners and dress attractively for him, but the fact that he notices and speaks appreciation towards me encourages me to serve him more readily.”

But the REAL key…..Faith!


Gowen believes that her relationship with Christ molds her relationship with her husband.

“We pray consistently for one another, thank God for one another, but remember that our priority is our relationship with Jesus.”

And that particular morning, just like every morning, she feels immensely grateful for “the gift of him.”

“Plus I knew he’d be back in our bed come tonight,” she says.

Often when asked on my own marriage of 34 years, I share these simple points with young couples: 1) always make time for each other, 2) always make time for yourself, 3) always communicate, and 4) never go to bed mad. But none of these simple points would be possible without the first and foremost, faith. Faith in yourself, faith in each other, and faith in the Almighty God.

Unfortunately if you surveyed the younger generations from the Baby Boomers, Gen-Xers and Millenials, most would probably say faith and/or God is not their top priority.  But shouldn’t Faith or God be our first priority? 

In an earlier Pew Study:

1. Millennials are growing even less affiliated with religion as they get older

2. There are more religiously unaffiliated Americans than Catholic Americans or mainline Protestant Americans.

3. Those who are unaffiliated are becoming more secular

We were a nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles, but our country has become less religious as a whole.

Maybe THAT’S the REAL problem in America,…..I mean OTHER than Obama! 



Written by Nancy Hayes

Follow on Twitter: @bodybynance



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