“What’s on your mind?” No one asks me that unless maybe they don’t know me. Most of my friends end up having to stop our conversations, well my monologues actually, by saying something to the effect of, “Okay then John, I got to go.”
What is on your mind should be closely examined, because there are quite a lot of things on it, that maybe even drive your behaviors, that you would be better off without.
I have a Hobo Metaphysic that goes like this, “There is no separation between you and God, you only think that there is.” Now if you fully understand and believe that, your worries in life are fully over; you will be dwelling in the bliss of heaven.
But if you are like me it takes a while after you latch onto an idea or concept to fully accept and understand it. I am not completely convinced of that Metaphysic myself, even though I wrote it a number of years ago. However, I must say I grow happier all the time.
In the mean time it is good to root through those false ideas about yourself and to let them go. If you are American chances are you came from a broken home like myself. I surprised myself the other day when I was still thinking that my parents divorce was all my fault. Now I have been letting go of that idea for a while, but it was entrenched and I am finally seeing the last of it slipping away.
My two prong approach to handling false or sinful thinking, is to ask God and Jesus to remove it. Then I spend a few minutes telling myself I love myself. It is a funny world we live in where we have to convince ourselves we are worthy of our own love.
But it is a beneficial practice, for me at least.
Now I convinced myself that the divorce was my fault, no one in my family even insinuated it. When I was doing my social work internship in a prison drug and alcohol treatment program, I was working with one woman whose very own dad told her at age nine, it was her fault that her mom left. The poor devil of a father could not admit to himself he maybe had something to do with his wife’s leaving.
That kind of thinking is how people wind up in drug and alcohol treatment programs; all that guilt and shame bubbling to the surface when you think about your parents divorce. It ain’t enough just to stop drinking to have a good life, you have to find a way to like and love yourself again.
You ever notice you can’t really convince anybody of anything? Well what I did is have that woman convince herself that her mom’s leaving was not her fault. I am also trying to get you to convince yourself you are worthy of God’s love and your own love, despite your past mistakes.
So as you are on the path of discovering your oneness with God and the universe, be sure and take a break once in a while and find out what is on your mind. If it isn’t something good for you, by all means find a way to convince yourself it ain’t true.
Even if you have said and done some horrendous things yourself, if you are human you probably have a pretty good list of these type of moments, I know I do; ask God to forgive you and take the time to forgive yourself.
Hobo John here, I could tell you what is on my mind all night but I believe that is enough for now. I love you with everything that I have: that is my motto, my mantra and the truth of things. Convince yourself of it, would you.