Secret Service Effort to Monitor Social Media Sarcasm

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Secret Service wants to keep track of when you are being sarcastic or sardonic.

Secret Service wants to keep track of when you are being sarcastic or sardonic.
Secret Service wants to keep track of when you are being sarcastic or sardonic.

Maybe if they monitored their agents like this, John Clancy might just turn the shipwreck around!

Seems for years that the Secret Service has been wanting to fully monitor social media. As reported by Susanne Posel:

Back in 2011, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was monitoring social media using a software program that instructed analysts to “create reports on certain items of interest that were found in social media searches, including policy directives and debates related to the department.””

Then in 2014, the Secret Service was bidding on surveillance software that monitors and detects “sarcasm” on social media.

Warner Todd Huston of Breitbart lays out a full list of what the Secret Service wants to accomplish:

  • Real-time stream analysis;
  • Customizable, keyword search features;
  • Sentiment analysis;
  • Trend analysis;
  • Audience segmentation;
  • Geographic segmentation;
  • Qualitative, data visualization representations (heat maps, charts, graphs, etc.);
  • Multiple user access;
  • Functionality to have read-only users;
  • Access to historical twitter data;
  • Influence identification;
  • Standard web browser access with login credentials;
  • User level permissions;
  • Compatibility with Internet Explorer 8;
  • Section 508 compliant;
  • Ability to detect sarcasm and false positives;
  • Functionality to send notifications to users;
  • Functionality to analyze data over a given period of time;
  • Ability to quantify the agency’s social media outreach/footprint;
  • Vendor-provided training and technical/customer support;
  • Ability to create custom reports without involving IT specialists; and
  • Ability to search online content in multiple languages.

It would just seem to me, that if John Clancy would direct some of these brilliant ideas into his office, that he would quickly clean up Dodge.

If he really believes this is a solution to help solve the problem of crime, then it should work in keeping charge of his employees.

The Secret Service has been ridden with scandals for years. Secret Service Director Joseph Clancy
The Secret Service has been ridden with scandals for years. Secret Service Director Joseph Clancy

The Secret Service has been ridden with scandals for years.

It all seemed to start in November 2009.  Tareq and Michaele Salahi crash Obama’s first state dinner. The Secret Service eventually acknowledged that officers never checked to see if they were on the guest list.

Then in 2011, a man shot at and hit the White House. He cracked a window and it was four days before it was realized that the home was hit. It was only realized then after a housekeeper noticed the broken grass.

Secret Service had known about the gunshots previously, but for a time had decided it was not real. Later they admitted actual shots but denied they actually broke the perimeter of the White House grounds.

There has since been an incredibly long list of incidents.

The previous incidents forced Sullivan to retire after 30 years with the agency.

In April 2012 Secret Service took prostitutes from a strip club back to their hotel rooms.

In May 2013, a Secret Service supervisor sent sexual emails to a subordinate and left a bullet in a woman’s restroom. He tried to force his way into the room to retrieve it.

WHITE HOUSE FENCE JUMPERA year later, three Secret Service agents protecting Obama were caught partying and drinking, violating Secret Service rules.

In September of 2014, a security contractor with a gun and an assault record got on an elevator with the president. The contractor took video of Obama and refused to stop when requested by the agents.

Secret Service only learned the man had a gun after he is fired from his job. Obama was not told about the incident.

Three days later a man with a knife jumps the White House fence and makes it deep inside the building. The White House reported the man only made it through the front door.

In September of 2014, Then-Secret Service Director Julia Pierson appear before a House committee. She testifies about the security lapses and it’s a disaster. In October Pierson resigns from her post. Joseph Clancy begins to head the agency.

A few weeks into his job, John Clancy has a win.  The Secret Service dogs stop a man who jumped the White House fence.

The scandals have become never-ending fodder for comedians, including Michael Loftus and Rodney Conover on the new TV comedy, The Flipside with Michael Loftus. So I guess Obama will be watching his Tweets! Maybe he will learn something!


– Friend them on Facebook

In October the investigator researching the 2012 prostitution scandal in Colombia is arrested for prostitution in Florida. He resigned.

In December, a panel of outside experts delivered a report the Secret Service was starved for “leadership that rewards innovation and excellence and demands accountability.”

In March, two senior agents, one being second-in-command of President Obama’s detail, ran into a White House security barrier after drinking at a party. The men drove into the middle of an active bomb investigation.

Western Journalism reported that the Department of Homeland Security Office of Inspector General released a report Wednesday which says the agents were ‘More Likely Than Not’ impaired by alcohol.

Meeting with congress later in March, Clancy testified that he wanted to build a full scale model of the White House. He also plays tug-of-war with the congressmen over the video of the drunk driving incident and is not forthcoming.

In April of this year, a 4 year old penetrated the perimeter of the White House. Security agents rushed to the north lawn with their weapons drawn as a toddler jumped over a small bike fence outside the White House gate.

That happened the same week that an off-duty Secret Service member was arrested and charged with first-degree attempted burglary

Also in April, Katie McGuire reported,  “Yet Another White House Fence Jumper Arrested!”

Most recently, Secret Service and the White House experienced another security breach when another Drone was successfully flown over the grounds.


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