ISIS forced King Abdullah, Brian Williams and Bruce Jenner to vaccinate their children, according to an NBC News report.
Now, on to the news of the past few days.
Do not trust any Election 2016 advice from voters who rise at 4:00 a.m., put on a tuxedo, go out in subzero weather, and seek advice from a groundhog.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is vowing to cut the pay of college professors. He now needs extra Secret Service protection to keep away legions of conservatives trying to hug him.
Hillary Clinton is trying to become the Grandma-In-Chief. Jews call their grandma “Bubbie.” Hillary’s grandchild is part Jewish, making Hillary Beelzebubbie.
Parents are now thinking that the day before they die they will buy insurance through every company except Nationwide.
Hillary Clinton should be vaccinated with truth serum. She spreads the disease of lying.
Kids are vaccinated for protection from contagious diseases. For the same reason, keep kids out of public schools. Stupidity and indoctrination are equally communicable. We can protect kids from measles but not from being shot or stabbed over a pair of sneakers.
Vaccinate your kids or they could end up like Russell Brand.
Jews are being warned to vaccinate their kids or they may grow up to be Palestinians. Symptoms include suicide bombing and delusional rantings about Israel‘s land
Take everyone refusing to vaccinate and quarantine them on a separate island so they can eliminate each other through illness.
ISIS and JORDAN
ISIS will kill at will sans consequences through January 20, 2017. They’ve accelerated their brutality in case the next president is an adult who will stop them.
Lynching update: POTUS unable to determine ISIS’s religion. ISIS are not Jews, Christians, Buddhists, or Hindus. Allah Akbar is not an atheist code.
Until Democrats publicly call out radical Islam, they should replace their donkey symbol with an ostrich.
Michelle Obama’s aerobics classes are dangerous. She yelled “rise up.” Her metrosexual Pajamaboy hubby heard ”ISIS” and got his head lodged up his hide. Poor guy. The Affordable Care Act does not cover cranial-gluteal extraction surgery.
SISI is ISIS backward. Do not confuse this with SISSY, our backward metrosexual Pajamaboy POTUS who says “forward” as ISIS marches forward.
The POTUS says we will “redouble” our efforts against ISIS. When told 0 x 2 = 0, the POTUS vowed to triple our efforts, quadrupling his usefulness.
When asked to speak about the murdered U.S. hostage, the POTUS said, “Let me clear, make no mistake, right thing to do, climate change, forward, fairness.”
Scared ISIS fighters are running for the hills. “Look out! It’s President Obama! He’s talking! His finger is in the air! He’s wielding a pen! It’s Professor Postulate!” This was an NBC News report, so it must be true. Hope! Change! Yes, we can!
On further review, our anti-gun metrosexual selfie-taking Pajamaboy POTUS would never risk ruining his golf clubs or his fingernails getting in a scuffle with bad guys.
Facing sniper fire or a chopper shooting is like seeing a 400 pound transsexual wearing spandex. You do not forget that.
PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES
The POTUS refusing to meet with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is like my ex-girlfriend threatening me with the silent treatment while I’m watching football. It’s like a teachers’ strike. Who cares?
The POTUS is the world’s Ed McMahon. He sits on the couch, laughs, smiles and lets other people carry him. The POTUS does not do. He just is.
Liberals say that Mexican illegal immigrants do the jobs that Americans will not do. The next illegal Mexican caught here should be made POTUS.
If the POTUS cared about the environment he would stop talking. His words are like a tree falling in the forest. Analyzing his deeds requires he do any.
The POTUS would never make it as a Jew. He is quadruple the age of Bar Mitzvah boys and still has not entered manhood. Why would the POTUS need to read the Torah? The O thinks he wrote it.
Bruce Jenner is now a woman. After legally changing his name, he remains the frontrunner for the 2016 Democrat nomination and a proud grandmother. Some people will do anything to get elected.
This concludes the news. Meanwhile, the world is on fire, the economy is awful, and the POTUS does not care. In two more years he is out of our lives.