A Poem for the Hobo Girl in You
I had a young Hobo girl come on to me pretty strong the other day at Portland Transitions. It was awkward because she was with an older man I see around a lot and she was calling him her boyfriend.
She is a little wound up emotionally most of the time and wanted to know where I was sleeping while rubbing my thigh.
I met her a couple of months ago with another guy I like a lot and if I understood her properly, he is now in jail for manslaughter. She said they were in a car wreck and it killed her unborn child. Now she has enough drama in her that this may be untrue. But I think I remember her saying she was pregnant last time I saw them together.
Also the emotions seemed real while she was telling me the story. I comforted her for a while, which is possibly why she was coming on to me.
But that night she was calling a different man her husband then the boyfriend she had that day.
She strikes me as a clinger-runner type who moves from guy to guy on impulse. I doubt she would ever feel comfortable spending one moment alone. I wrote the above in my journal a few days back.
Two days ago she approached me saying that the last man had ditched her, which I doubted immediately. I told her we could go on dates but that I wouldn’t be her boyfriend, She was persistent, wanting to come with me to church that night, but I said no.
Later that night I saw her a dinner with the guy who “ditched” her, she didn’t make eye contact. From my social work days we would call this an attachment disorder. She never really bonded with a parent; I am assuming because they were in too much fear themselves to ever make her feel safe. I have a little of this in me myself and I imagine we all do.
Yesterday she came and sat by me in the day-center and read a book while I dosed. I sent her loving thoughts and tried to present as much calm as I could muster. On a side note she uses chewing tobacco which I find endearing.
Everything will give you the blues
if you are feeling that way
and everything can be joyous
if you know how to play
and God can really help you,
if you believe
and he will help you even
if you don’t
and nothing you have is real
if you think your more important,
sky blue, earth brown
any country, every town
all wound up
or trying to wind down
or class clown
take a look within
and take a look around
everything is lovely
and everybody loves you
so why not smile instead of frown.