With the Super Bowl just over one week away and the Pro Bowl being ignored, the NFL has been consumed with “DeflateGate.”
DeflateGate is not nothing. It’s not everything. It’s a mild thing, barely. With that, here is the Great DeflateGate Debate Update.
Tom Brady said he could not tell if the ball was deflated by two inches. What if Gisele Bundchen got a reduction from 36D to 34C? When something a guy touches every day deflates by two inches, a guy notices.
Bill Belichick tried to defuse the scandal by boring the media to death. He could be President.
If Katy Perry were deflated two inches she would still be inappropriate for the family friendly Super Bowl. Ask the Children’s Television Workshop of Sesame Street.
At least Tom Brady knows that ISIS is serious. He did not call them the JV team. If Brady’s a Democrat, cheating and lying would make him a top tier presidential candidate. He has twice as many out-of-wedlock kids as John Edwards.
(Brady is a loving husband and father. He has only been accused of cheating in his football life.)
If Michael Hutchins of INXS were alive, he’d have no comment on DeflateGate. He’d say pretty Kate had sex all night. Liberate. Mediate.
The President is desperate to comment about DeflateGate. It kills him that the media is ignoring him. Football matters. He doesn’t.
Footballs deflate when spiked to the ground. So do quarterbacks.
Obama may redistribute two touchdowns to the Colts in the interest of fairness. 45-7 is unnecessary. 31-21 is enough of a win.
This concludes the most recent Great Deflategate Debate Update.