50 Shades of Crap: Being Picky About What You Allow Into Your Brain

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I am no angel, but what I have done as a Christian who strives to be more like Jesus Christ is to be picky about the crap I allow into my brain.

I will not be among the throng of women who race to the theater, hearts pumping and bodies aroused, to see “Fifty Shades of Grey” on the big screen this Valentine’s Day. I’m also proud to say I was not among the 100 million people who chose to purchase and read the erotica series.

Is it because I am a shriveled-up shrew who doesn’t enjoy getting her rocks off? Ha, far from it.

I’ll tell you what I am. I am a happily married woman who has learned in her nearly four decades on this planet that indulging in every sexual fantasy or pursuing kinkier and kinkier ways to reach orgasm does not lead to longterm happiness, contentment and fulfillment.

Displaying 50shades.jpgWhat the “Fifty Shades of Grey” phenomenon has done is allowed the Real Housewives of America to enjoy a little deviant soft porn. What’s the harm in that?

Well, like my mom always used to say: Garbage in, garbage out.

I have been known to walk out of a movie (the last one I refused to watch was “The Interview.” Twenty minutes into that poor excuse for a comedy and I checked out).

I strive not to listen to music with lyrics that are morally offensive (remember, music affects your ethos, it can change who you are).

And I try to balance the temporal with the heavenly in this secular culture by going to church, reading the Bible, being involved in a weekly women’s Bible study, and praying.

I know what you’re thinking – well of course you are not going to see “Fifty Shades of Grey,” you’re a Bible-thumping prude. I actually wish I was.

But in reality what I am is a woman who tries to honor God in the face of temptation. Yes, I admit there is a part of me that wants to see “Fifty Shades of Grey,” just like there is a part of me that wanted to read the books. Curiosity combined with excitement combined with desire – us Christian women experience that, too.

But in the end, I’ve set my sights on something higher.

Would God forgive me if I see the movie? Yes. Would God forgive me if I enjoyed the movie? Yes. Does God want me to see the movie? I feel safe in answering this way: Hell, no.

He has a plan for our lives, ladies, and it does not involve being trained to enjoy getting tied up and whipped by misogynistic, mentally unstable men. To allow our brains to ingest those images and learn to become aroused by them is not healthy for our psyches, our marriages, and our relationship with God.

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