Hold Your Wolf Bait and Move Your Potty, Dude

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I remember that while working at a prestigious office in Los Angeles, one of my  female co-workers referred to using the restroom as “going potty.”  I thought it was too juvenile a term for working professional women to use. But then, I’m plagued with a sense of formality that I can’t always shake even when I want to.

When you think about it, nearly all our colloquial terms for using the facility are euthemisms with a decidedly childish twist to them.  I chose only a few of the 165 slang terms for your consideration–all of which are new to me. Look how many reference an animal! What’s up with that?!

But first, the inspiration for this utterly informal, rather idiotic deviation from my usual serious, stoic and sometimes sentimental stories; this photograph, which I call “Porcelain- Upon-Skateboard”:


And now . . . a sampling of unusual phrases my co-worker could have used, but didn’t, to more discreetly say ‘go potty’.

Borrow the porcelain                                              Grow a tail                                                      See a man about a dog

Bust a dook                                                               Hang a rat                                                      See a man about a horse

Drop friends off at the pool                                   Lay hot snakes                                              Send a fax

Drop wolf bait                                                           Park a custard                                              Stock the lake with brown trout

Expel the hamster                                                    Release a chocolate hostage                     Talk to a man about a mule

Free the turtles                                                         Ride the porcelain bus                                Torque a wicked cable


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