I remember that while working at a prestigious office in Los Angeles, one of my female co-workers referred to using the restroom as “going potty.” I thought it was too juvenile a term for working professional women to use. But then, I’m plagued with a sense of formality that I can’t always shake even when I want to.
When you think about it, nearly all our colloquial terms for using the facility are euthemisms with a decidedly childish twist to them. I chose only a few of the 165 slang terms for your consideration–all of which are new to me. Look how many reference an animal! What’s up with that?!
But first, the inspiration for this utterly informal, rather idiotic deviation from my usual serious, stoic and sometimes sentimental stories; this photograph, which I call “Porcelain- Upon-Skateboard”:
And now . . . a sampling of unusual phrases my co-worker could have used, but didn’t, to more discreetly say ‘go potty’.
Borrow the porcelain Grow a tail See a man about a dog
Bust a dook Hang a rat See a man about a horse
Drop friends off at the pool Lay hot snakes Send a fax
Drop wolf bait Park a custard Stock the lake with brown trout
Expel the hamster Release a chocolate hostage Talk to a man about a mule
Free the turtles Ride the porcelain bus Torque a wicked cable