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In Defense of a Child’s Life


A woman wrote a letter to her unborn child On Reddit that she is planning to abort soon. As someone who came from a single parented home and is someone that can’t have children, abortion hits me on both sides of the issue. I was so saddened and ANGRY about the letter she decided to write to her child that I had to openly respond. The mother’s words appear in italics followed by my reaction.

Little Thing:

Little Thing? He or She is not a little THING. He’s a little PERSON. She could have said “Little One” and that would have been ok but to say “Little Thing”? That’s demeaning.

I can feel you in there. I’ve got twice the appetite and half the energy. It breaks my heart that I don’t feel the enchantment that I’m supposed to feel. I am both sorry and not sorry.

Oh goodness. My heart just breaks for her. Not. Just because she doesn’t feel happy about being a mother this is going to cause her to murder her child? I’ll take him/her. I’d love to be a parent.

I am sorry that this is goodbye. I’m sad that I’ll never get to meet you. You could have your father’s eyes and my nose and we could make our own traditions, be a family. But, Little Thing, we will meet again.

Um, no you won’t, unless you get to heaven. See, I don’t know if you’re aware of this MOM, but each child has its own DNA and will have its own looks and personality. So you will never meet the child that you are getting ready to kill. (Unless you get to heaven, which is possible if you believe in the salvation of Christ.)

I promise that the next time I see that little blue plus, the next time you are in the same reality as me, I will be ready for you.

Again, you are not going to get the same exact child because each child is its own person. Also there are MANY people that ARE ready. They’d do anything they could to have a child but they can’t. Again, I’ll take he/she if you don’t want your baby. Don’t condemn him/her to death because he/she is an inconvenience for you. Every child is a wanted child, they just might not be wanted to by the birth parents.

Little Thing, I want you to be happy.

So you’re going to kill it? How happy is that child going to be as he/she is literally being ripped from limb to limb?

More than I want good things for myself,

Bullcrap. This is all about you. The first word in the body of your letter is I. People put the most important ideas first in letters and speeches.

I want the best things for the future.

Thank you for proving my point that it is all about you. If you truly wanted the best things for the future, you’d give this child a future with parents that would love him/her to infinity.

That’s why I can’t be your mother right now.

As if there’s no other choice between raising the child yourself or abortion. There are women, like me, that are ready and we would do anything legal and moral to take your child and love them as if we gave birth to him/her.

I am still growing myself.

Obviously, because you are making a very immature decision. “I’m not ready for you. So I’m going to kill you and go on with my life and when I’m ready magically the same child will be in my tummy.” Not going to happen.

It wouldn’t be fair to bring a new life into a world where I am still haunted by ghosts of the life I’ve lived.

So every parent in the world had a perfect past? If you think that you are obviously, you are very immature. Actually what it is is you are trying to justify murdering your child. And talk about being haunted by ghosts, MANY women who have had abortions totally regret it.

I want you to have all the things I didn’t have when I was a child.

NO YOU DON’T. Because you had a life as a child, right? You’re taking the one thing this child right now, his/her life. So what if you can’t provide everything? My mom was a single parent and she couldn’t either. But it made me tough, ambitious, and self-reliant. Sometimes the best gift you can give your child is not give them the gift and make them work for what they want. I’m sure that baby doesn’t care right now that you can’t shower it with gifts at Christmas, but he/she cares very much that you are going to take their life.

I want you to be better than I ever was and more magnificent than I ever could be.

So again, your solution is to kill your child? The ONLY way that what you say you want to happen will actually happen is if that child LIVES. Give that child up for adoption if really want him/her to be “better than I ever was and more magnificent than I ever could be.”

I can’t do to you what was done to me: Plant a seed made of love and spontaneity into a garden, and hope that it will grow on only dreams. Love and spontaneity are beautiful, but they have little merit. And while I have plenty of dreams to go around, dreams are not an effective enough tool for you to build a better tomorrow. I can’t bring you here. Not like this.

Oh my goodness, what is this clap-trap? Plant a seed of love? Look, don’t romanticize this. You got pregnant before you wanted to. It sounds like you were raised by a single parent like I was. But if you don’t want to put this child through the same tough life you had, (and believe me, I had a tough single parented life too) then give it a chance with people that would give anything to have a child. Don’t condemn him/her to death just because you can’t give this child the life you want to.

I love you, Little Thing, and I wish the circumstances were different.

Then make the circumstances different. Have the child and give him/her up for adoption. That’s a win-win-win for everyone. You get to go on and have the life you want. A child gets to live life. A couple gets to become a family.

I promise I will see you again, and next time, you can call me Mom.

Again, you will not see THIS particular child again unless you get to heaven. I understand that adoption is difficult and heart-wrenching but many birth mothers are now involved in their child’s life and that can be helpful. Do yourself and this child a favor; give this child the chance to live and yourself the knowledge that you gave a couple the only gift that they want but can’t get themselves.


Vanessa Penick

A Grateful Survivor of a Single-Parented Mom & now a Childless Mother.




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