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6 Worst Human Foods to Give Your Dog; or Don’t Let Rover Play Poker


We’ve all heard that we shouldn’t give our dogs chocolate. It sickens them. Depending on the quantity, it can be fatal. Too bad for them. Good for me.

Yummy for humans. Deadly for dogs.

Deadly for dogs.

There are several other foods experts caution dog owners against.

by T.M.  Burroughs

The human foods and the reason for avoiding giving them to your furry friend is from an article in Dog Show. I’ve abbreviated the information.

You don’t really need all the scientific bumbo-jumbo, right? Right.

-Bread, bread-like foods.

The yeast found in dough is dangerous for dogs. This also means that you shouldn’t, under any circumstances, give your dog bread, not even in small quantities.

The enzymes in the yeast convert the sugar in the dough to ethanol (alcohol) and carbon dioxide. The carbon dioxide is what makes the dough rise, and if happens after the dough has been eaten by your pet, it could be dangerous.


Salt and very salty snacks

Foods containing, surrounded by or smothered in salt, if consumed by a canine, can cause vomiting, excessive shaking and dehydration.

These are the very symptoms you should keep an eye out for, because the sooner you can recognize them, the sooner the treatment may begin – the treatment that may save your pet’s life.

Treatment for salt poisoning includes the careful administration of IV fluids, electrolyte monitoring, treatment for dehydration and brain swelling.



Alcohol poisoning is frequent in dogs, and even though it’s not intentional in most cases, be sure to keep your dog away from hard liquor or foods containing yeast, as he will certainly not enjoy the experience.

If you suspect that your dog is intoxicated, you might need to induce vomiting or even take him to the vet to pump his stomach.



Hops are the female flowers (also called seed cones or strobiles) of the hop plant, Humulus lupulus.

Used as a flavoring and stability agent in beer, they are commonly found in almost every country. They are the cause of hops poisoning, which causes uncontrollably high temperatures and restless behavior followed by excessive panting.


-Macadamia nuts

We must warn you that macadamia nuts can be dangerous to dogs, though usually not fatal.

A dog that has eaten macadamia nuts could experience weakness in his legs and even suffer tremors for up to 48 hours. So if you notice these symptoms, rush your dog to the vet immediately.

It is unknown which toxin causes macadamia nut poisoning.

Additionally, some dogs will experience health problems after eating them, while others will not, so it really depends on the dog and how he copes with it. The exact amount that causes health problems can significantly vary from dog to dog.


-Anything that contains Caffeine

Caffeine poisoning is something that cannot be treated, and for now, there is no known cure for this condition.

This list includes coffee, tea, soda and energy drinks, especially Red Bull, which seems to be quite popular among the younger generations, but is highly toxic to dogs.

By making a careful examination of the list above, it becomes clear that dogs should not play poker. That game is fraught with risks for dogs, even if they don’t have a gambling problem.

Wussup Dawg?

Wussup Dawg?


Why? you ask. Think about it. It’s so obvious. Look at poker night food.

bread + salt = pretzels (a snack of choice at poker night))

alcohol + hops = beer (the beverage of choice at poker night)

toxic nuts = macadamia (an enticing nut with a nutty taste and texture)

Whatever you do whenever you ‘suspect he is intoxicated’ don’t pour hot coffee down your dog’s throat. No matter how much he has had to drink the night before, don’t give him coffee or anything with caffeine.

One last piece of advice, mine, not the expert’s: don’t let your dog smoke cigars no matter how tempted he might be, no matter how nimble he thinks his paw toes are, no matter how much peer pressure the pack inflicts.  Cigars are a gateway roll. Just say NO.


THBT.M. Burroughs


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About Author

Baron Von Kowenhoven

Baron was just a shy kid with a dream, growing up in the 40's with a knack for story-telling. After a brief career in film, Von Kowenhoven went to Europe in search of fringe-scientific discoveries and returned in the 90's to unleash them on the entertainment and political landscape of America.

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