Memo from Mohamed: Obama welcomes “terrorist-lite” Muslims

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MO #1  Lady LibertyOnce upon a time, in a posh office high above the streets of an un-identified Mid-Eastern city, Mohamed, director of al Qaeda’s home office, hits the speed dial on his NSA-shielded cell phone.

Rinnnnng, Rinnnnng, Rinnnnng

“Hello Rahneesh? It’s Mohamed. No, not Muhammad. It’s me, Mo, from the home office.”

“You get my memo?”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

“No, it’s not a jokeMO #2 BO & Saudi King Abdulah! Our great friend Barack offers open-door immigration for Muslims. But only if we were just a little bit affiliated with terrorists. You know, terrorist-lite. Like beer commercial.”

“Whoops! I forgot. Not supposed to use the “T” word. Camel-dung-for-brains people in Great Satan country tell everyone to use politically correct, kissy-face description like ‘freedom fighters’ or ‘soldiers of liberty.’ Whatever.”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

“Sure thing Rahneesh, you qualify for immigration into United States as long as you make cross-your heart vow about how you were innocent bystander and got swept up in protest mob, but never shouted angry words or carried a sign or burned American flag.

You make double pinky promise you only watch bomb assembly, but never, ever make one explode. You know, give big pitch about how you are gentle, law-abiding citizen. Never make trouble.”


MO #3 Mob burns American flag“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

“Three missing fingers? No problem. Just tell little lie about how jackals bit off your fingers when you were defending village children. Donkey-brain infidels go mushy over sob stories. No children? No village? No records? No problem!”

“OK. Gotta run. Praise be to our great friend Barack. Bye. Bye.”

Mo speed dials another number.

Rinnnnng, Rinnnnng, Rinnnnng

“Hello Abdul? It’s Mohamed. No, not Muhammad. It’s me, Mo, from the home office.”

“You get my memo?

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

“No, it’s not a joke!”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

“You are liking tMO #4 BO Benefit cardhe persecution angle? Go for it. Worked for boys from Chechnya. Parents tell sad story about persecution in home country. Boo! Hoo! They receive asylum, food stamps, welfare, education, medical care, and kitchen supplies to make pressure cooker bombs.”

“Uh-huh. Un-huh.”

“Our great friend Barack promises that immigrants to his America will be greeted and treated like beloved relatives. Best of all, his open-door policy saves us millions of dinars. Is super-duper cost effective and slam-dunk easy to clear immigration at New York airport instead of hiking across Arizona desert and maybe step on rattlesnake or fall into arroyo.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Will Mohamed help Muslim “freedom fighters” immigrate to our country? Will they be rewarded with food stamps, housing, welfare, paid for by your tax dollars?

CLICK HERE to read the rest of this story at TheBlaze.Molli for Joe

P.S. Want a little more snark in your day? Additional fables are posted on Molli’s blog, You’ll enjoy the picture-filled story about Prince Hope-n-change and his ascension to the throne. A former publisher, Time-Life editor, motivational speaker, and six-times published author, Molli also is a book doctor and helps writers become published authors at  She tweets @grannyguerrilla.



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