Glitch! Obama exchanges refusing to exchange Obama

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On the same day the government shut down, the Obamacare exchanges opened up for business. This may seem confusing given that Obamacare is a government program, but very little about government makes sense.

As expected, the exchanges were marked by what the administration euphemistically described as “glitches.” Government officials promised that the shutdown would not prevent them from replacing the glitches with bigger glitches. If necessary, the glitches will be replaced with snafus, and if absolutely necessary, a complete and total debacle.

Yet the biggest problem is that too many people do not understand how the Obama exchanges work. Even some conservatives including myself seem puzzled.

The Obama exchanges don’t work. Many people including me asked this morning if we could exchange Obama for a good president. Our request was denied.

Offers to even throw in a seventh round draft pick and a bag of jellybeans were further denied. Obama was staying.

Apparently these are Obamacare exchanges and not Obama exchanges. Yet calls recorded for quality assurance provided a total lack of quality and a complete failure to provide assurance.

“Hello, Obamacare exchange operator? I would like to exchange Obamacare for a program that actually works.”

That request was denied by a non-essential government employee. Apparently the government shutdown has not fully taken effect, since non-essential employees should not be on the payroll to begin with, much less providing bureaucracy and red tape on a day when that should be eliminated.

The Obama campaign apparatus is fully funded and operational always, so they held the billionth press conference to make things “perfectly clear.”

If people like their doctor, they can still keep their doctor around. Doctors can perform yardwork or hang out and watch a ballgame at your home. The doctor can perform every function as any other human just as before with the narrow exception of rendering medical services of any kind.

Further attempts to get clarity about the Obamacare exchanges went unanswered when the telephone systems crashed. Glitches on the Obamacare website were touted as successes given that one million people looked at the site. 299 million people did not look at the site, preferring pornography, online gambling, online video games, and social networking sites. Despite much larger traffic, those sites run by private individuals functioned properly.

More than 12 hours after the exchanges opened, not one person was able to successfully trade Obama or Obamacare for a hill of beans to build a beanstalk. However, the Democrat solved that problem by being full of beans. Al Gore is keeping the magic beans in a lockbox at the North Pole protected by healthy polar bears and unmelted ice caps.

The first successful Obama exchange is scheduled for January 20th of 2017, although time will tell if the result will be a better president or Lady Hillary MacBeth.



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