Not even my birthday, and yet you give me special present. Russia now is major power player with control over 350,000,000 people in Mid-East and Northern Africa.
I send you big thank you and even bigger Russian bear hug.
Congratulations and gold Oscar statue to Mr. Kerry for fine performance when he make pretend “off the cuff” comment about Assad giving up chemical weapon stockpile. When I volunteer to be good guy and take care of everything, I pull babushka over eyes of grandfather McCain and his elephant and donkey progressive friends. They like me in control of chemical weapons better than unbelievably small missile attack on Assad’s desert.
Big gold Oscar statue also to you for looking unbelievably small during sales pitch speech when you tell citizens is OK to delay missile attack. Nobody catches onto truth: you don’t own enough congress people to win support of your teach-them-a-lesson plan.
Also, good job to pretend anger at me over my article in New York newspaper. Like I tell you in St. Petersburg, keep up your Weapons of Mass Distraction talk (little joke, hahaha!) and all will be fine.
Your loyal comrade followers scream and yell and cry krokodil tears about gassed children and not observe how your policies have ruined their lives and set your country’s economic progress back decades. Keep up threats for missile attack and I’ll shout “Nyet, neyt!” and nobody in America will notice how you are poison pill to your own peoples.
Trust Uncle Vlad when I assure you that income redistribution, big taxes, big spending, big unions, and big government sure to cause poverty and economic collapse. Guaranteed 110%. You can take that to your bank in Switzerland.
BTW: My birthday comes on October 7, and for “special gift” would like to have rest of Africa under my control, especially gold mines in south.
I am thanking you again for gift and job well done. We’ll talk soon.
Your #1 fan, Vlad
PS: Maybe you give thought to trade with me for one Hawaii island? You want part of Siberia? Good skiing for wife and children.
Former publisher, author, Time-Life editor, and motivational speaker, Molli Nickell writes Politically Incorrect Fables to help patriots open conversations (and minds) of the low-information people within their circles of influence. Her new book, “Uncle SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country” is available now. Save 25% off the cover price when you use discount code TG4NRPFB. CLICK HERE to read a sneak preview and order through Amazon’s Createspace store. Molli posts a new Politically Incorrect Fable on her blog every week (along with daily rants) at www.grannyguerrillas.com.