Red Lines and BBQ Pork

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SAMMIE MAC hispanicOnce upon a time, eight-year old Sammie Mac struggled with his homework assignment to write a letter to the President of the United States. He couldn’t decide what to say until his mom suggested he write what was in his heart.

And so he did.

Dear Mr. President,

How are you?

I am sad because Daddy told me our vacation trip to Washington was not gonna’ happen because the White House doors were locked shut. Mommy said it was ’cause the carpets had been cleaned and were wet. Daddy called Mommy Pinocchio nose. She gave him her squinty eye look and said, “No dessert for you Buster.” HAHAHA! She forgot his name is locked out of WH

I asked Daddy when he thought we could go inside our White House. He said the doors would be unlocked on the same day Hel . . . sinki freezes over.

I hope that’s soon.

Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac

P.S. Daddy made a YouTube video of me reading this letter to share with Gram and Gramps.

 The very next day, Sammie Mac wrote a second letter.

Dear Mr. President,

How are you?

I felt kinda icky in my tummy today when my teacher gave me her squinty eye look after she read my letter and told me to write a better one.

So, here goes.

Did your dog enjoy his vacation at Martha’s house? Is BO named after you or your armpit? Daddy said he would like to be BO’s dog walker and get paid more than my teacher. He said he’d be happy to pick up BO’s poop and wipe his feet so mud wouldn’t get tracked on our White House carpets. Are they still wet?BO and plane

I told Daddy I would ask you please to give him the dog walking job. He snort-laughed through his nose. He said Valerie and Mooch-elle were in charge of everything and for sure, they would invite him to be BO’s dog walker, on the day Hel . . . sinki freezes over.

I hope that’s soon.

Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac.

P.S. Daddy made a YouTube video of me reading this letter.

P.P.S. He sent it to all his friends and so did Gram and Gramps.

The very next day, Sammie Mac wrote a a third letter.

Dear Mr. President,

How are you?

I could hardly breathe when Mommy hugged me real tight after she got home from a school visit with my teacher. Mommy said my letter to you was just fine and if I wanted to, I could write you another one and tell you whatever I wanted to, but maybe leave off the Hel . . . sinki part.

So here goes.

BO red linesDaddy told Mommy your red line got lost. And now you don’t know where to stand. So, I drew you a picture of a red line and maybe you can stand behind it until you find your own. When I showed it to Mommy it made her so happy she laughed and laughed and had to run to the bathroom. Daddy laughed until his eyes leaked all over my picture. That’s why the red line is kinda blurry. Mommy said you won’t mind since you’ll probably find your red line right away. Daddy said that will happen on the day “H” freezes over.

I hope that’s soon.

Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac.

P.S. Daddy made a YouTube video so I could show my letter and red-line picture to his friends and Gram and Gramps and their friends.

The very next day, Sammie Mac wrote a fourth letter.

Dear Mr. President,

How are you?

Today I got really scared and almost threw up in my mouth a little bit when our school principal gave me his squinty eye look and shook his finger at me and said I should stop writing you letters about Hel . . . sinki and be thankful that you are such a good president. He said I should tell my Daddy to stop making YouTube videos.

When Daddy got home from work he hugged me and said maybe a thank-you letter would be nice, and I could write whatever I wanted to in my very own letter because this is America, the land of the FOOT ON DESK

So here goes.

Thank you for working so hard in your nice oval office in our White House. Daddy showed me a picture of you. I guess you had your foot on the desk so you wouldn’t get in trouble with Valerie and Mooch-elle for leaving two foot prints on the wet carpet.

Daddy told me you lost your moral compass. I told Daddy it probably fell under your desk. Daddy said he thought your missing red line might also be under the desk where your foot should be (instead of in your mouth). I hope you find your moral compass. Daddy says that will happen on the day Hel . . . sinki freezes over.

I hope that’s soon.

Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac.

P.S. Daddy said he could make YouTube videos if he wanted to because we have freedom to say whatever we want to say whenever we want to say it. He made a really, really long YouTube video of me reading all the letters I wrote to you. It went viral.

P.S.S. Mommy fixed our favorite dinner, Heart Attack Mac ‘n Six-Cheese macaroni with pork chops. Do you like mac ‘n cheese and pork chops?

The very next day, Sammie Mac wrote a fifth letter.

Dear Mr. President,

How are you?

I am happy even though today didn’t start out so good.

Here’s what happened.

Daddy and Mommy came to my school to visit with our principal and his friends on the bored of education. When the principal gave his squinty eye look at Mommy, Daddy stood up and squinty eyed him right back.BO FLAG WAVING

They were talking real loud, nose-to-nose, when I looked outside and saw Gram and Gramps and a whole bunch of people singing God Bless America and waving flags.

We went outside to sing with them. After everybody sang every single America song they knew, we had a BBQ-pork-sandwich-and-ice-cream picnic on the lawn in front of my school. Daddy made a YouTube video and it went viral.

I asked Daddy if maybe we can visit you at our White House, and if the carpets are still wet we’ll have a picnic on the lawn and invite you to eat with us. Do you like BBQ pork sandwiches?

Then, after we eat ice cream, we can help look for your missing red line and moral compass while Mommy fixes the scratch marks on your desk. Daddy snort-laughed through his nose and said he’d mail your invitation on the day Hel . . .sinki freezes over.

I hope that’s soon.

Sincerely, your friend, Sammie Mac.

Molli is a former publisher, Time-Life editor, motivational speaker, a
nd author. Her soon-to-be-published book will be available, at a discount, on this blog. The book is filled with non-threatening fables BOOK COVER frnt  Aug 16 smallerthat entertain and educate low-information voters, amuse and fire up patriots, and irritate progressives. You can make a difference in America’s future by sharing this book of fables with the less-aware people in your universe. Better informed voters will make better choices than they did in 2012. To read additional fables and daily rants, visit Molli’s blog at



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  1. fifi1956 says

    I loved this, too bad these letters were not really sent to Obama. To see his face after Valerie Jarrett read them to him would be priceless.

    1. Valerie may read Sammie Mac’s letters, but would never ever share them with BO since it would make him cranky and spoil his concentration . . . on golf. However, miracles occur, and Valerie might decide to read the letters to BO on the day when Hel . . . sinki freezes over.

  2. AnnaGraceS says


  3. Harvey Melton says

    Obama doesn’t have any answer for truth like this lol

  4. DoraG38 says

    Cute letters and to the point!

  5. omega2 says

    OUT OF BABE’S MOUTH COMES THE TRUTH! Doesn’t get any better than this! LAUGHED ALL THE WAY THROUGH READING ALL THE LETTERS! WHUUUUUPY a little humor goes a long way!

  6. Bar0Ranch says

    Like all good humor — it contains a LARGE element of truth. I especially like the squinty eyed parts. Thanks for the chuckles.

  7. CapNCraigAgain says

    Dear Mr. President,
    My Teacher told me that because the globe is warming, Hel…sinki isn’t going to freeze over anytime soon. So, I decided to send you the pork BBQ sandwich, an ice cream sandwich and a new red line to stand behind, since you lost the last one we sent you.

    1. Sammie Mac will be sad to learn that Hel . . .sinki isn’t going to freeze any time soon. Does that mean he won’t be able to visit our White House any time soon or never or until after the 2016 elections? Aw gee whiz!

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