Obama releases plan to combat minority teen boredom
In the ongoing effort to help educate and motivate troubled youth in America, the White House today invited leaders from the social services, mental health, and educational institutions, as well as state legislatures and law enforcement organizations, for a preview of a new Federal initiative on minority youth boredom. In a Rose Garden announcement, President Barack Obama outlined a forum to promote his new “anti-complacency” program, which includes as its centerpiece an innovative technology designed to drastically reduce the amount of boredom in teenagers called: “The Barack Obama 360.”
Based largely on the “X-box” line of interactive gaming devices and software; the “BO360” features a console and multi-player controller device with weapons and software designed to suppress boredom and prevent “complacency-based minority attacks.”
“For too long now, minorities have been deprived of quality entertainment to keep them occupied. This bold program not only replaces the hours which normally would be used to work a job, but also evens the score for impoverished youth,” stated President Obama as a dozen minority teens with their new BO Box’s filed in behind him.
“I modeled this program off my incredibly successful “Obama-Phone” Initiative that allowed Americans everywhere the freedom to obtain a cell phone regardless of their ability to earn one through hard work and savings. Similarly, we cannot stand idly by while American teens lounge around with nothing to do and inevitably turn to shooting innocent people for kicks – there must be a comprehensive program to provide equal entertainment access to all,” remarked the President as an admiring press looked on.
The Justice Department in conjunction with Health and Human Services is encouraging minorities to attain the BO360 at any cost, and any legal costs or charges associated with the acquisition of the program will be deferred. BO360 may also be acquired free of charge under the Affordable Care Act. Calls to the White House regarding the details of this claim were not returned.