Walmart Offers Benefits to Same Sex Couples

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Here’s the problem with gay marriage:

The rules. That’s right, it’s a simple matter of rules. If you don’t have rules, you don’t have anything. In other words, in order to have something, you have to be able to define it. Right? So define marriage for me… People who support traditional marriage say it’s between one man and one woman. People who support gay marriage reject that as discriminatory and bigoted…

Ah, but this is where it falls apart, because two dudes can’t play in the mixed-doubles tournament at Wimbledon because they define it as being between teams consisting of one man and one woman. Once you let two guys play, there is no more “mixed doubles.” It’s something else, called “men’s doubles.” Still, Walmart offers benefits to same sex couples:

Bad example? Okay, I’ll ask you if you support gay marriage to define marriage, and the minute you do – you’ll be every bit as discriminatory and bigoted as you were accusing the traditional marriage supporters. In a nutshell: Who are you to define marriage? At least the supporters of traditional marriage have tradition on their side. You’re just a contemporary bigot with your new noninclusive marriage club. And if you can’t define it, then it’s open to anyone with everyone – is it not? What – you’re going to argue that certain folks can’t fall in love and want to spend their lives together?

And before you think I’m being absurd, think again. If marriage were to be successfully redefined as being between two people of any gender – tell me there wouldn’t be a line around the dance club of lawyers with their clients who want to be legally married like the bigoted heteros and gays get to?

The bottom line is if there is gay marriage, there is no marriage because if you don’t let everyone or every group of folks, without regard to their relationship, age, sex, status, family tree, mental state, or species get hitched – you are, by definition, discriminating against them, are you not? You still think I’m being facetious – no way. They will show up to get married (read, “benefits”) in droves – the sister and brother, the neighbors looking for benefits, the uncle and niece, the cousins (all three of them), the teacher and student, a businessman and his three interns – whatever – and they will absolutely have a good point. Gays already laid it out: People are perfectly able to carry on a loving relationship, regardless of their preference or sexual orientation, right?… Right.

That’s my problem with gay marriage. If you change the definition of marriage, there will be no marriage for anyone. Outside of that, I support everyone’s right to make the biggest mistake of their lives…


Rodney Lee Conover






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