It seems that war against Syria is a done deal. The Obama Administration, the Democrats, the media, the lackeys in the Republican Party (I’m looking at you John McCain) are beating the drums of war and ignoring every Constitutional, financial, historical, practical and moral reason to slow down the rush. The least we can do is have some lucid and somewhat aware congressman submit a bill to actually declare war on Syria, so there can be an up or down vote on the President’s latest crusade.
Since nobody has yet to come up with one, I humbly submit mine. Remember, up or down on this:
Declaration of War
Joint Resolution declaring that a state of war exists between the Government of Syria and the Government and the people of the United States and making provision to prosecute the same:
- Whereas the Baathist government of Syria has viciously fought a civil war against Al Qaeda and other terrorists, aka “the rebels” among its people who prosecute a civil war against it;
- Whereas the Baathist Party in Syria and Iraq descended from Nazis whom these United States carried on a war commencing on December 11, 1941 and ending May 8, 1945 with Germany’s surrender;
- Whereas the Muslim Brotherhood, which was the source of Al Qaeda and Hamas, also descended directly from the Nazi Party, making this a civil war of Jew hating Nazi wannabe versus Jew hating Nazi wannabe;
- Whereas Syria possesses stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction that no way got there from the Baathist Government of Iraq because the idea that they were ever in the possession of Saddam Hussein is simply ludicrous and BushliedwarcriminalCheneybloodforoilHalliburton.
- Whereas President Barack Obama called the use of chemical weapons “a red line” that if crossed would require him to say something else;
- Whereas the use of these chemical weapons of mass destruction might have been made by the government of Syria, although Al Qaeda elements who are well known for mass casualty attacks against their own allies and innocents of all stripes might have used them as well;
- Whereas President Barack Obama personally led Seal Team 6 and shot Osama Bin Laden himself with the only weapon an American needs – a shotgun – appropriated by vice-president Joe Biden, thereby defeating Al Qaeda and rendering moot their involvement in anything and everything, forever;
- Whereas the truth is becoming known regarding Al Qaeda rebels in Syria who also attacked the consulate in Benghazi, killing the American Ambassador to Libya and three others, which could be embarrassing to the Administration but what does it really matter anyway?;
- Whereas teabaggers;
- Whereas raaaaacists;
- Whereas Trayvon Martin was hunted and murdered by George Zimmermann, a white hispanic whose skin is darker than President Barack Obama’s;
- Whereas don’t get me started on John Boehner, this is not the time, nor the place;
- Whereas blame Bush!;
- Whereas bombing stuff makes a weak President feel strong; accomplishes nothing; costs billions; stretches a decimated military under Obama further; greatly increases the number of TV commercials featuring William Devane and distracts from the many impeachable scandals directly involving the Obama Administration.
Therefore, be it Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, that the state of war between the United States and the Government of Syria which has thus been thrust upon the United States is hereby formally declared; and the President is hereby authorized and directed to employ the entire naval and military forces of the government to carry on war against the Government of Syria, and to bring the conflict to a successful termination, all of the resources of the country are hereby pledged by the Congress of the United States, with the exception of the Supreme Commander himself, who is just making the turn at Medina.