DEAD, DIVORCED, MARRIED, PREGNANT OR IN JAIL

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DEAD, DIVORCED, MARRIED, PREGNANT OR IN JAIL
by Rodney Lee Conover

Billionaire and founder of Amazon.com Jeff Bezos has purchased The Washington Post for $250 million, an amount many say is way more than the paper is worth. But I’m not sure if  they know he got free shipping.

Attending his first political fundraiser since the presidential election of 2012, Mitt Romney told Republican’s in an event in New Hampshire to make the ‘smart’ decision and pick a candidate who can win in 2016. I guess that’s information we could have used last year? Romney dismissed the strategy being pushed by Rubio, Ted Cruz and Mike Lee who are holding out for one last chance to defund ObamaCare, saying; “What would come next when soldiers aren’t paid, when seniors fear for their Medicare and Social Security, and when the FBI is off duty?” Sounds like he got the memo.

humpday
Happier than an Argentinian on Free Viagra

Argentina has begun distributing free Viagra, government health authorities announced Thursday. 200,000 doses of Sildenafil – better known under the brand name Viagra, is to be handed out free of charge to the public with one reason being that counterfeit versions of the drug are widespread and this may stop that abuse. Criminals in Argentina should be on notice that unlawful distribution of Viagra carries a stiff penalty – HI-YOOOO! What day is it? Humpdaaaaaaaayyyyy!

Renters at an apartment complex in Colorado were served notice that if they owned a gun, they were no longer welcome there and would have to move. The management company sent out a letter stating that all renters were now prohibited from keeping firearms in their apartments and any gun owners would be ordered to either get rid of their weapons or move out. Residents have until Oct. 1 to comply and needless to say, some are pretty pissed off. The criminals in the area are sure to save gas money from not having to drive from house to house, but the residents at this particular place are not amused. If you’ll remember, the State of Colorado recently legalized the use of marijuana and apparently everyone is high, because this stupid gun ban at this stupid apartment complex was turned over quicker than a Kardashian in back of an SUV.

The NFL says it will be cracking down on excessive celebrations and taunting by player next season, including “sack dances; home run swing; incredible hulk; spiking the ball; spinning the ball; throwing or shoving the ball; pointing; pointing the ball; verbal taunting; military salute; standing over an opponent (prolonged and with provocation); or dancing.” Assault, domestic violence or shooting somebody off the field will still be left up to the individual, however.

What has two thumbs and likes 30 million new Democrat voters?
What has two thumbs and likes 30 million new Democrat voters?

Senator Chuck Schumer says he thinks the House immigration reform plan is perfectly acceptable since the many piecemeal bills will be combined in conference and come out one big happy bill anyway. Schumer said; “We would much prefer a big comprehensive bill but any way that the House can get there is okay by us.” Schumer said. He also claimed House Republicans now appear more open than ever to granting amnesty to illegal aliens, and are going to use the strategy of passing a large group of bills addressing specific immigration issues to get to a conference with the Senate bill. Here’s a clue, John Boehner, Eric Cantor and any other Republican: Whenever Chuck Schumer is smiling – VOTE NO‼

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rodney on tap
Sugar? No thanks, I’m sweet enough…

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Who's a poopie-head??
Who’s a poopie-head??

Rodney Lee Conover is a writer / performer, living in Southern California’s Mohave Desert with his whippet “Jack”

 

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15 Comments
  1. welduh says

    Someone needs to follow this dork into the airport bathroom. His elevator doesn’t go to the top floor. What’s up with these NY Dems? Are they all in the hip pocket of someone?… or just afraid to stand up to destruction of this country?

  2. marcus J says

    Chuck Schumer could possibly be the Anti Christ the Bible warned us about , He is moving up the list of Anti American Treasonous Traitors that are out to destroy this country

  3. Tonto says

    If this moron likes it, I don’t. Kahr Firearms is moving from NY to PA. Even though owner’s father is Rev. Moon, they are leaving NY.

  4. HongryHawg says

    And to think we keep buying tickets to this circus everyday with our tax dollars.

  5. jaxtom says

    Love the NFL comment!

  6. bahndon says

    Schumer, Cumo, and the whole NY government are in need of a good cleaning. I find it difficult to understand why any Jew would want to disarm the population after what Hitler did to the Jews and Poles.

    1. Guest says

      If we conservatives don’t stand up and ATTACK when they allow amnesty,
      then we might as well trow in the towel. We have been talking long
      enough while Washington is giving away our country. This country will
      have to be destroyed before it can be fixed. We will never get the socialists out of government until we kill off all of their voters first. We need a civil war, even a race war to get it started.

  7. FedupandReadytofight says

    Can we claim dual citizenship with Argentina? Then we can get all our own free stuff, plus the Viagra…
    Oh, I forgot; I have the wrong color skin to get the free stuff in my own country.

    1. Johnny says

      There ought not be such a thing as dual citizenship. Either you area an American or you are not. We Republicans need to work cause if we dont all those poor democrats will lose their food stamps.

  8. Ricarrdo estavans says

    It just proves the sheeple of The Sheeples Repubic of the Soviet Style Socialist State of Nueva York are uniformed, dumbed down distracted deviants.

  9. shamu9 says

    The WHOLE Continent of S. America, Central America, and Mexico will be moving Here!! On Frackin WELFARE, Food Stamps Obama-Care, and Free Housing. Once Here, They Will Not do the Work Real Americans Choose not to do! The Whole world has has the concept of America, As the ‘FREE Country’! EVERYTHING IS FREE!

    1. Rattlerjake says

      Politicians are ringing the dinner bell, “COME AND GET IT!”.

      This country will have to be destroyed before it can be fixed. We will never get the socialists out of government until we kill off all of their voters first. If we conservatives don’t stand up and ATTACK when they allow amnesty, then we might as well throw in the towel. We have been talking long enough while Washington is giving away our country. We need a civil war, even a race war to get it started.

      1. Herman Nelson says

        That’s easy- it’s called “voter records”. Pre-made “bucket lists”

  10. George Gilbert says

    Anything SCHUMER likes, I DETEST

  11. Kent2012 says

    At first I thought this article was going to cover the line up of the next candidates for kenyan boy’s cabinet or ministry positions………..He should have added drugged up or drunk….

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