No Fairytales, Marriage Takes Work

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Remember when you were a teenager and you would see your parents hugging or kissing or showing any kind of affection to one another and it would completely gross you out? I would say “eew gross Mom and Dad, cut it out.” Little did I realize, they were showing me the greatest example of a happy marriage in a world full of divorce.

I was one of the lucky children who grew up in a happy home. Mom and Dad were happily married and we were a complete and solid household. I remember in high school, when my best friend told me her parents were getting a divorce. They were like my second family. I was devastated. I couldn’t believe my other family wouldn’t be what it once was.

I am so grateful to my parents for showing me what a happy marriage looked like. Even when times get tough, you stick together. I never really knew about the tough times, but being married now, I know there had to be some and I am so thankful they stuck together through it all.

I always thought marriage changed you. I assumed once you said I do you suddenly grew up and matured and that was it. Happily ever after. Boy, was I wrong! I remember thinking, I don’t feel any different. I don’t mean to say I wasn’t happy, because I was elated! What I mean was, I was still who I was. There was no magic switch that turned on just because I got married.

I realized that if I wanted to be happily married like my parents I had to put the effort into changing myself. It was no longer just about me and my happiness, it was now about us and our happiness. I think this is part of the reason the divorce rate is so high.

Marriage is not a solution, so if you’re having troubles in your relationship, marriage is not the answer to your problem! Marriage is a commitment, a promise to another that you will be a partner and work to make each other happy, til death do you part. You don’t need to change who you are. You need to change who or what you put first. You can no longer be selfish, you must learn to be selfless. So even if you’re tired and had a long day, make your husband’s favorite supper. And even though you may want to sit and watch the ball game, give your wife some quality time doing something she wants to do. You never know, just offering may do the trick and you may find that to make you happy, she chooses to watch the game with you!

So, thank you, Mom and Dad. Even though you grossed me out in the beginning, I am so grateful for your example of commitment and happiness.

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