No Fairytales, Marriage Takes Work

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Remember when you were a teenager and you would see your parents hugging or kissing or showing any kind of affection to one another and it would completely gross you out? I would say “eew gross Mom and Dad, cut it out.” Little did I realize, they were showing me the greatest example of a happy marriage in a world full of divorce.

I was one of the lucky children who grew up in a happy home. Mom and Dad were happily married and we were a complete and solid household. I remember in high school, when my best friend told me her parents were getting a divorce. They were like my second family. I was devastated. I couldn’t believe my other family wouldn’t be what it once was.

I am so grateful to my parents for showing me what a happy marriage looked like. Even when times get tough, you stick together. I never really knew about the tough times, but being married now, I know there had to be some and I am so thankful they stuck together through it all.

I always thought marriage changed you. I assumed once you said I do you suddenly grew up and matured and that was it. Happily ever after. Boy, was I wrong! I remember thinking, I don’t feel any different. I don’t mean to say I wasn’t happy, because I was elated! What I mean was, I was still who I was. There was no magic switch that turned on just because I got married.

I realized that if I wanted to be happily married like my parents I had to put the effort into changing myself. It was no longer just about me and my happiness, it was now about us and our happiness. I think this is part of the reason the divorce rate is so high.

Marriage is not a solution, so if you’re having troubles in your relationship, marriage is not the answer to your problem! Marriage is a commitment, a promise to another that you will be a partner and work to make each other happy, til death do you part. You don’t need to change who you are. You need to change who or what you put first. You can no longer be selfish, you must learn to be selfless. So even if you’re tired and had a long day, make your husband’s favorite supper. And even though you may want to sit and watch the ball game, give your wife some quality time doing something she wants to do. You never know, just offering may do the trick and you may find that to make you happy, she chooses to watch the game with you!

So, thank you, Mom and Dad. Even though you grossed me out in the beginning, I am so grateful for your example of commitment and happiness.

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  1. steveindajeep says

    I will never get married, ive heard to many horror stories of broken lives, broken homes, and broken dreams to ever tie the knot…of course i say this because i cannot find a woman who can stand me for more than 30min let alone 30years.

  2. blair152 says

    Not really. My father wanted to put me in an institution and my mother divorced him. If he was still alive, I wouldn’t nominate him for Father of the Year.

  3. Big Guy says

    Forget What Society Teaches The Only way a Marriage will work is if you depend on each other. Nurture each other , Grow togeather. If all You Care about is YOURSELF, It will Never Work.

  4. Jack Garrott says

    As a pastor I do a lot of marriage counseling, and I tell couples that marriage is the biggest job of your life, but it brings the biggest rewards. And I’ve got 44 very good years to back me up in that!

  5. DENavarro says


    We celebrate our 28th Wedding Anniversary tomorrow. It took work and all the years weren’t pretty – the first ten years were good, we both had an appetite to live our lives larger than life and all our giving and entertaining kept us busy, but then but we hit some rough seas in middle age and butted heads and had different ideas about what we wanted in life and who we would become. We kept at it faithfully and got everything worked out so now these last 8 years have been sweet and wonderful – the best ever in our marriage. I think about the work it took to make it where we are and I can tell you it is definitely worth it. I may not have said that ten or twelve years ago when I was in the midst of the fight, but I can say now that I am glad we were both committed to sticking together and making it work.

    Yes, it takes work and it is worth it.

  6. wowman says

    Yea Gay Divorce Court, alimoney, child support and criminal domestic violence…this gets better and better

  7. Bill says

    When my wife and I got our marriage license 54 years ago, I thought faithfulness, happiness, and security was to be found at the bottom of the box, as in Cracker Jacks. Now my wife is telling me our marriage license is like a dog license, it has to be renewed every year. She hasn’t as yet mentioned the required shots. Every morning I awake and realize I living on borrowed time. When will she tumble to my blather?

  8. hitthedeck says

    I can hardly wait until the media has a show on the tube named “Gay Divorce Court” I would bet it will have a record rating of conservatives tuning in to get the best laugh in years since Laugh In.

    1. DENavarro says

      Who gets the strap-on?

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