Government War on Dads

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04 Family-CourtIt isn’t easy being a parent. No matter what your particular situation, there are many difficulties and challenges to be overcome along the way. The reward of watching your children grow up to be responsible, moral, respectful adults is supposed to make it all worthwhile. But what if your children have been brain-washed by the corrupt system? Is it still all worthwhile if they perceive you as a villain?

I’m not writing this piece in an effort to garner any benefit or sympathy for myself. The things I experienced are probably very mild compared to the many injustices that occur on a daily basis in every realm of our “justice” system. People complain about an immigration system being broken when it is only under-enforced. Our justice system as a whole is really broken and way over-enforced, with rampant preferential treatment with a gender and racial bias.

I also want to make it perfectly clear that I love kids. I do not need any government to intervene in order for me to have a relationship with my children. I have three young children by my present wife of 15 years, and have a charity on Facebook called “Give a Kid a Smile”, where we help underprivileged children in the Philippines. My three children at home think the world of me and I do of them as well.

I am writing regarding events involving my two now grown daughters in the U.S. When I divorced from their mother I fully expected fair treatment from the State and to be able to maintain virtually the same relationship with my kids after our divorce as I had enjoyed before. I remained in the same home town as my kids for almost all of their childhood because I wanted to be in their lives.

Out of respect for my children, I’ll not identify my former home state. I’m of a belief that what happened to me is typical and commonplace in every state in America. It appears that the “evil” possessors of external genitalia, hereafter referred to as “men”, are preordained to remain in a meaningless relation-less relationship as a matter of government policy. Pay your taxes, keep your mouth shut, and you’ll be permitted by the state to exist without their intrusion into this particular area of your life, as they lack the jurisdiction. Once they have an opening, though, look out. The Nanny state is at the door and Nanny’s got luggage. Pack your bags daddy boy. Nanny is moving in and you, the maggot male meal-ticket, are moving out.

Those men who have the audacity to leave a state-sanctioned union undermine the system of servitude and disrupt the compliant tax donation scheme. You must sacrifice your financial future to make atonement for your transgressions. Like everything else in America, the land of the free, you must pay a tax. In my case, it was an exit tax, payable to my ex-wife, without regard for the fairness of the terms.

I firmly believe that it is the goal of the State to destroy the American family just as was done in the former Soviet Union. The State will project itself as the provider and form of support for the children, redistributing the “wealth” of the evil man to the coffers of the female victim, who is free to spend as much of it or as little of it in support of the children, with no oversight beyond the writing of the check. After all, in modern socialist America, income redistribution begins at home.

They create the villain by applying the label of “deadbeat dad” to any man who is struggling to support his family in the tough economic times that have resulted from the collective raping we have taken in modern socialist America. If you aren’t rich, you are a no-good deadbeat who is trying to run out on his responsibility. Take a second or third job if you have to because the ex-wife needs to buy chlorine for her swimming pool. Her new SUV needs an oil change. We deadbeats are just so irresponsible. Thankfully, the good-hearted State is watching out for you, little ones.

The traditional family is an obvious high priority target. Once a man is saddled with this debt, he becomes much less attractive to a future mate and if he is successful in a securing a future relationship, the financial baggage is carried with him. Non-parasitic females are better off not marrying him, as they become cosigners to the collective debt to the previous wife’s household. Better we all sit around, watch television and collect a percentage check from the work of others.

Subsequent hearings over the years were a farce. I was a little taken aback at my first experience with what is so warmly misnamed as the family court. I should have known the fix was in when the bailiff cautioned me to just relax, just be cool, before the proceedings had ever even gotten underway. In retrospect, it is obvious he knew what was in the cards.

I walked in, became seated, waited for her majesty to enter, stood in faux respect as one is forced to, and made my best effort to present my case, representing myself as that particular venue required. I guess they don’t want to be challenged by attorneys while the kangaroo show is in motion. I watched in frustration as they ignored and dismissed every one of my points and arguments in their predetermined charade. The cabal of; manly women representing the D.A.’S office, the state-provided half man/half woman attorney representing my ex-wife under the guise of representing the children at their primary domicile, the dog-faced female judge, the “Jane Hathaway” court reporter, have all perpetrated their crimes on a multitude of male victims countless times. The scenario is: naïve man comes in, naïve man gets raped, violated man hobbles out with his head spinning, wondering what just happened and how this can be permitted in a just society.

Men are faceless adversaries to the system, which is carving out it’s pound of flesh. We are not humans. We have no standing or value other than as their source of sustenance. They are parasites as much as the compliant ex-wife, more than happy to leave our empty carcasses in society’s trash heap at the end of eighteen years.

This is not about justice. It is not about making sure children are cared for. There is no accountability that the money collected goes to support the children. It’s is an extension of the same control apparatus that is progressively taking over all of American society. The State must be our master. They must be seen as the new father figure in the father land.

I’ll admit it took me a long time to figure this out. I was extremely frustrated and angered by the injustice that was perpetrated by the hand of what I thought was my government. I was able to understand it only when I realized that their objective is not what they portray it to be. I don’t matter. My kids don’t matter. The greedy ex-wife doesn’t matter. It is only about wealth redistribution and control. We are a means to an end. And by the time we figure it out, by the time we understand the rules that they are playing by are different than what we believe, they’ve already won. They’ve got us where they want us and we’ll stay there for eighteen years.

The systematic destruction of an insignificant and “evil by gender” person is not the worst of it. The most destructive part of this one-sided distribution of injustice is that it enabled my ex-wife to buy the affection of my children. While I still did what I could in addition to the State-mandated theft, I could not spend to the degree that the wealth transfer permitted my ex-wife to. I was compelled by the State to provide her with the means to present herself as the benevolent, loving parent and label me as uncaring. I was trapped. My only solace during this period was in the belief that once the kids were grown up, they would realize what had been going on. They would want to rekindle that lost spark of father-daughter love that I still carry in a pain-filled area of my heart today. I told myself that in the end, it would all become obvious to them and they would know I was not the bad guy. I apparently was more naïve than I realized. The brain-washing was complete, thorough and irreversible. I am Johnny Rotten.

It is a bitter and painful realization when one is forced to finally accept, as I finally did today, that my children will never have a relationship of any value with me. They are lost to me. I’ve tried countless times but the roots of their distorted upbringing are strong and deep. Sure, I’m hurt, it is a devastating thing. But the real victims are my kids. They have bought into the lie. They have had their impressionable minds poisoned to a point where they are not capable of seeing the truth. There is nothing I can do to win their hearts and minds. It is over; the state-sponsored ex is victorious.

But what has she won? An immoral victory in this life does not constitute a real victory in the big picture. I don’t have any emotion towards her. She is a person who had a major negative impact on my life. I can deal with that and have dealt with it. She is history. The pain of my children is not. It is a daily condition.


Rick Wells is an author and a small business owner. He contributes to Joe The Plumber among other conservative media outlets, and he is the co-founder of the charity organization ‘Give a Kid a Smile’ which you can follow and support on Facebook.

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  1. roger troy says

    Pretty good article, and as one who paid that monthly bill for 18 plus years, I would add the following. The court decisions are too driven by dollars rather than needs. The biggest flaw is the method many states use to determine the required support and how it is collected. Having been an employer in Texas, it works like this; The court determines a percentage (using GROSS earnings) of the payer’s wage, times the number of children involved, to be deducted and paid into the state for child support. This means the payer is paying an amount out of his after-tax-dollars for child support which was calculated using pre-tax earnings. This creates such a skewed burden that many who pay child support find it hard to afford bologna sandwiches. This only creates unnecessary animosity within the parties.

  2. Lufawnduh Quinby says

    my heart goes out to you Rick Wells. The injustice in our court systems is completely out of control. Why do the righteous get what the wicked deserve? Why do the wicked get what the righteous deserve? There seems to be no end to this injustice!

  3. cvxxx says

    We have a system that enslaves the individual to the economy and to social prejudices. Both are now forced to be hitched to the wagon of everything for the kids.

  4. Rattlerjake says

    Johnviertel is SO off base and obviously has never had the “privilege” to be in family court. I spent a year going through the tedious and prolonged system of divorce in North Carolina where the first thing I was told by every lawyer was that I had three strikes against me, those being I’m white, I’m a man, and I was in the military! Additionally, I was told that to have any chance at custody of the children I would have to prove ‘severe’ abuse of the children on the wife’s part or her voluntarily relinquishing custody. Family court and the laws in place are STACKED against the man. Even with proof of neglect from the Dept. of Social Sloths, I mean Services, the female (dike) judge gave physical custody to my ex but also allowed her to move out of state. The court order gave me visitation, alternate holidays, required the ex to provide yearly information (report cards, schools attended, phone numbers, addresses, etc.), none of which was ever provided, and became a legal nightmare to try to get her to comply because of her being in another state where NC court orders have NO jurisdiction. This happened in 1995 and I have had zero contact with my children to date, thank you family law! AND I PAID EVERY F U C K I N G DIME OF CHILD SUPPORT!!! and this after leaving the military and working three jobs just to pay the support because the court would not lower it.

    Johnviertel – Try making a visit to you local court house and sit in the visitor section. You can watch these court cases every day and the travesty that is done to fathers being stripped of ALL parental duties yet forced to pay not only divorce debts, but additional burden of excessive child support, that does not take into account the other financial obligations but is based on your gross income! You Johnviertel are a d i p s h i t spewing garbage concerning a subject you obviously have no knowledge of.

    And for you women, who wonder why you can’t find a good man, it may be because men are no longer willing to be screwed without the sex. American women have become nothing more than a another whining minority group that wants everything their way and done for them. Look at the statistics of failed marriages and dysfunctional children raised by single mothers and it’s obvious that the decline is because fathers have been taken out of the equation.

    1. cvxxx says

      1995 is pre-Political Correctness. Today is a different critter.

    2. johnviertel says

      I think that going to any court is a surrender of liberty of some kind and should be avoided at almost any cost, including staying married. You also misunderstand me if you think that I support the current court system. I do not. It is too influenced from the outside, local courts particularly who are responsible for the lion’s share of divorce settlements. What I said was that local courts ought NOT be influenced (or controlled) from outside power but should be locally based to be most effective. (That is not how they mostly function these days, being regulated and informed by the national database of case law taking the authority of propositional statute such as the priority given to the mother in terms of custody that seems to be the default position, not to mention powerful and well-funded special interest groups bringing pressure to bear on federal legislators to interfere with states’ jurisdiction and state legislators to interfere with community justice processes.) THEN I said they (the local courts) will still not be perfect. But they will at least have the pressure of local mores and common local knowledge (jury of their peers) upon which to fall back on should the case result become obviously distorted.
      But the bottom line is If you divorce, you are not going to win particularly if it winds up in court.

  5. cvxxx says

    In today’s court the adage is have a relationship with the kids but it now traps both ex-partners to the slave block. The custodial parent usually cannot move without the court’s permission. So the non-custodial parent can block the custodial partner from accepting that promotion or better job. The reason “being able to have a relationship” with the kids would be more difficult. This is the “revenge” for the way we do CS. I, myself have met men who are homeless but working. They cannot afford an apt because of the high child support. Getting it reduced is next to impossible. So in poverty he stays. Years ago I read an article about CS in Playboy. The daughter was writing about her alleged “deadbeat dad”. She was entering a very good university and had to to the paperwork to obtain funding. She started out bitter but as the truth came out felt differently. The truth was dad had paid all on the date and in the amount never missing. Mom had lied.

    1. Rattlerjake says

      You’re wrong about not allowing one parent to move. The women often don’t move because they get the house, most women are pisspoor with finances so they loose the house and then move and states will not prevent the woman from leaving the state and taking the kids except under extreme circumstances.

      1. cvxxx says

        Each case is different. Not every state is the same either. The laws are different for each of the 50 states. I am not wrong about not being able to move. However, in your state, the rules may be different and the court where the divorce is heard can be different too. That is why a very good divorce atty is needed.

  6. Lorry Knoblach Guffey says

    grandparents lose too 🙁

  7. Lailahj says

    I have had the same experience, and I am a woman.

    1. Rick Wells says

      A valid point, Laiahj. My perspective is mine, which is from a male point of view. The system only wants to insert itself, and it is my belief that they have historically been better able to do so by creating a situation such as I outlined in my article. Having said that, if the genders are reversed, I am sure that the injustice will be very similarly applied, in a punitive manner and without consideration or concern for the consequences of their “enlightened acts.” Thank you for reading my article.

  8. johnviertel says

    As with virtually every marital breakup where children are involved, divorce is a destructive event, survivable in many cases but detrimental to one degree or another. Every case is unique and the father is not always the greater victim. He is perhaps least often the (greater) victim.
    Where the justice system is concerned, local jurisdictions ought to be responsible to render the best decisions, unswayed by federal (or even state) mandates or casuistic precedent. Outside advocate dollars and political pressure corrupt the process and should be deplored and ignored, . . .even though local courts will get it wrong often enough.
    Marriage is risky business. One must buy in for the long haul. I wish someone had thought of that earlier.

    1. Rick Wells says

      I don’t know how you would contend, if you read the article to conclusion, that I could be a lesser victim as a payee to a non-supportive household than the ex-wife who spent as she chose, and not on the kids but on herself. My efforts to have the money, if I had to send it, at least to go to the children fell on deaf ears. The response my request was, “we’re not here to discuss that.”
      Unless you’ve walked in my shoes, john, and dealt with the injustices of the system, your assessment will be a projection based upon presumptions which may very well be inaccurate.
      What ought to be and what is, to an uncaring bunch of self-serving bureaucrats, are two very different things.
      I also find your remarks of “wishing someone had thought of that earlier regarding my attitude towards the marriage” to be completely unfounded, self-righteous and demeaning. You have no idea what was in the thoughts of either myself or my ex-wife.
      I wonder if you work for the system and might just be a little defensive of the abuse that you perpetrate.
      My unfounded projection back at you.
      Rick Wells

      1. johnviertel says

        Rick, my comment (short and not fully developed) was primarily addressing the justice system trying to say two main things: (1.) that LOCAL courts should be independent in determining family matters (free from outside pressures beyond what the Constitution might speak to), and (2.) those local courts will still get it wrong sometimes.
        As for the felt personal attack on you, I was using that “wish someone had thought. . .” comment to allude to the original intent of marriage, by the Creator (the “someone”) of what we call marriage, to be for a lifetime. It was tongue-in-cheek and wasn’t meant to insult you although I must be honest in suggesting that the unintended meaning YOU took might be accurate as well – – its message should include you . . . and me, not that I have any right to judge you specifically. It is just a propositional truth. You probably didn’t think much of it at the time (yes, that is an assumption) but your first marriage had inherent risks that were keenly felt when one or both of you ended your primary relationship. You were hurt. We’ve heard a very small part of your story. Those two girls were as well, perhaps more and they may have not even realized it yet.
        Beyond all that, if you have any more faith in “the system” to fashion a workable solution to your fractured relationship than you had in your own ability, you could be a democrat.
        Wow, I started this response to ease the impact of my first post which I think was somewhat mis-read. And here I have come off even more “judgmental”. So just chalk it up as my opinion and worth no more than that.

        No, I don’t work for the system.

        1. John Gramm says

          In thinking about divorces of various family members, I can tell you that what Rick Wells writes about is very common. All too common. Including the brain washing. The injustice is terrible.

          Child support is supposed to be just that. It is not called exwife support.

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