Our friend Doug Giles raised some good points in his recent column at the Clash Daily.
1. When you do flip off the camera, go with the one-hand F-you, rather than the double finger fongool. The double-finger F-you is too over the top. One F-you should suffice as it’ll show that you are a gentleman that has restraint and are an innocent soul, almost … child like.
Indeed, the one-finger F-you can easily be explained as innocuous, childhood banter between chums. For example, “Hi, do you want to play? No? Okay, F-you. Have a good day, talk to you later”. See?
The double F-you is harder to explain away as it gives more of an “F-off and die”, adultish message via the two foul hand gestures which definitely are not childlike. Just pray about it and see what Jesus says.
2. Don’t call a neighborhood-watch volunteer a “creepy-ass cracker” just before you assault him. If you do call someone this racist term, make certain you do not say it to your friend who’s going to rat you out during a future cross examination in court.
3. Try to limit how many times you say, “motherf’er” on Twitter as it looks un-childlike when it’s thrust into the court of public opinion.
4. While at school, try not to get suspended for spray painting the children’s lockers with “WTF”, especially if you have in your current possession stuff like twelve articles of stolen women’s jewelry and a big-ass screw driver used for breaking into homes.
5. While we’re on the topic of school, try not to bring your weed and weed pipe to school. If you do need to bring your hooch to school for your frequent panic attacks, or just to take the edge off the difficulties of the de rigueur of public education, try to conceal it better so you don’t get caught.
These are only the top five, but you can get all 13 over at Clash Daily, Go check them out!