Sexual Assault caused by… What?!


Teacher claims Parkinson’s medication caused him to sexually assault student

MILTON, Mass. – Milton High School teacher Dale Snyder is already making excuses for his behavior.

AssholeSnyder, a 27-year teaching veteran, faces a charge of indecent assault and battery on a child after he allegedly groped and kissed a 14-year-old student who was helping him haul chairs back to his classroom following a graduation ceremony June 2, CBS reports.

His attorney told the television station the teacher suffers from Parkinson’s disease, and his medications cause impulsive behavior.

“Not only does the disease, but some of the medications result in this type of behavior which I think you can find on any web search,” said Thomas Lawton, Snyder’s lawyer. “He’s got increased libido, and impulse control issues.”

According to CBS, Snyder, 64, has no history of complaints at the school, according to the news report. He served as the school’s track coach and was inducted into the Massachusetts State Track Coaches Association Hall of Fame in 2009.

MSTCA President Jim Hoar said he had “nothing but positive things to say” about Snyder, and was “at a loss of words” about the allegations.

“I just don’t understand it,” Hoar told CBS.

The alleged victim told police Snyder invited her back to his classroom after the recent high school graduation, put his hand on her leg, and kissed her several times.

He was arrested last Friday at his home in Abington.

We’re unsure about the legitimacy of Snyder’s “Parkinson’s-made-me-do-it” excuse, but one thing is clear: he should have known the potential side effects of his medication and avoided situations that prompted impulsive sexual behavior, especially with students.

Even if his excuse proves to be legitimate, it’s really no excuse at all.

By Victor Skinner at

About Author

Baron Von Kowenhoven

Baron was just a shy kid with a dream, growing up in the 40's with a knack for story-telling. After a brief career in film, Von Kowenhoven went to Europe in search of fringe-scientific discoveries and returned in the 90's to unleash them on the entertainment and political landscape of America.


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