SOTU – heck, just let us control everything!
Be it known that I spent an hour watching that Stuttering Charlie-Foxtrot of a Miserable Failure so you wouldn’t have to. Trust me on this: you owe me big.
I’ll give you the shortest version, and then a short version. If you want a detailed treatment, then be my guest: I’m sure the liberal networks would love to have you watch their fawning coverage of every square inch of that 60-minute patchwork quilt of Communism, freedom-loathing, flat-out lying, pie-in-the-sky promises, class warfare, and fear-mongering.
That ought to do it for the shortest version. So now, the highlights according to my notes, what ought to take you no more than 2 minutes. Then you can go about your way doing your best to minimize the long reach of the government in your life:
- if you created business, created jobs, risked capital, managed resources, YOU DIDN’T BUILD THAT – workers built the greatness of America.
- If Congress won’t act on global warming, I will [we don’t need no stinking representative government].
- This nation was founded on equality [as opposed to, say, freedom, representative governance, equitably applied justice].
- It is the government’s job, and in fact I am the Top Cop, to enforce equal outcomes.
- While we’re at it, it’s the federal government’s job to force banks to make more housing loans, control guns, impose alternative fuels (for the children!!!), further stick its nose into high school and higher education,impose higher minimum wages, and I could keep going.
- Get children into kindergarten [government indoctrination camps] even earlier
- We have to disarm our arsenal! Show the despots of the world how to disarm.
(see above, Communism)
- My proposals won’t raise the deficit one bit.
- You can thank me for that domestic oil boom [since my policies and regulations couldn’t stop it on private lands].
- Global Warming! Or as I like to call it, Climate Change [since there’s no credible evidence of warming]. And by the way, 12 of the last 15 years were the hottest years in recorded history[fact – the ‘scientific’ academic crowd generating all the data has been thoroughly discredited for falsifying and cherry-picking data to show false upward trends]. Yet, there’s overwhelming scientific evidence for it [or, not].
- Our tough sanctions sure have the Iranians and their nuclear program up a tree. And by the way, we wrote a strongly worded letter to the Norks over their third nuclear bomb test. That’ll show ’em.
- College costs are skyrocketing but we’ve made college much more affordable. Go look at the transcript. He said those in back to back sentences. one of them is a lie [the second one, ya think?]
- I love freedom, and the concept of citizenship, and we’re gonna stand with all people (specifically mentioning the Middle East) who stand up against their oppressive government in the search of freedom. He mentioned Egypt and Syria. Funny how the word “Iran” didn’t make the list.
- wind and solar show great promise, and are getting cheaper all the time!
- ‘fix it first!’ initiative for fixing infrastructure, which sounds a great deal like ‘shovel-ready jobs’, the irresistible force that totally got its ass kicked by the immovable object of bureaucracy and the stifling regulatory state.
- Refinance giveaways with one hand, while with the other hand fail to let up on regulations that make it more profitable for banks to do everything BUT mortgage loans.
- By increasing minimum wage, yet again, we’ll create more jobs, put more money into the economy, and lift people out of poverty [history and basic logic show quite the opposite happens].
- We’ll pull troops out of Afghanistan, and the place will become civilized.
- Rich (yet again) are not paying their fair share.
- Secretaries pay more taxes than CEO’s.
- Women are underpaid!
- Republicans hate children and old people, but we can’t be partisan (like me).
- Republicans are also holding up my attempts to force banks to do more refinance loans.
- CEO’s pay is skyrocketing, but wages remain the same.
- Hurricanes, big fires, and other natural disasters have been made more intense by ‘climate change’.
- Republicans want to cut spending, which will mean we lose cops, firemen, and teachers [because you can bet your sweet hiney we ain’t laying off the millions of bureaucrats who do nothing].
- Guns! Newtown! We must act!
So, got it? Good. In the words of Mark Levin, thank me!