Lawyer Sues Popeyes Because His Mother Never Taught Him to Chew His Food. [VIDEO]

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This is a post about one of the 99% of crappy lawyers who gives the decent 1% a bad name.

A lawyer in Mississippi ordered lunch in the drive through at Popeyes fried chicken and they didn’t put a plastic knife in with his meal. He was forced – forced, I say – to pick the piece of chicken up with his lawyerly fingers, bite a piece off, chew it, and swallow it.

Before I go any further let me note that both of our sons could accomplish that task without supervision by the time they were three. But then again, they hadn’t gone to law school.

This particular lawyer, Paul Newton Jr., filed his lawsuit because Popeyes only gave him a spork and no plastic knife. He apparently couldn’t figure out how to eat the two chicken breasts they served him without a knife.

He was on his way to his office and started eating his lunch while driving his car. He allegedly bit a piece of chicken off one of the chicken breasts and when he swallowed it, it stuck in his throat. He required surgery to get the chicken removed.

Stop laughing.

I’m not a lawyer, and I didn’t even spend last night at a Holiday Inn Express, but I just have one question for this well-educated fool. You are eating the chicken in your car while driving, even if they’d given you a knife, what would you have done with it? After all it takes two hands to cut a piece of chicken with a knife. That means you’d have had no hands on the wheel while you’re driving.

Stop laughing.

Attorney Newton is suing to make sure that Popeyes gives all their customers knives.

I love the level of sympathy this idiot got from Popeyes customers. “Maybe you should slow down eating. Nobody eats chicken with utensils.” I hope that former Popeyes employee is on the jury. Heck, I fly to Mississippi to be on that jury.

Again, it’s not Popeyes fault that attorney Newton’s mother didn’t teach him to chew his food. Our two sons are older now, it’s been 30 years or more since they learn to eat chicken without a knife and fork. Neither one of the boys has ever choked on a piece of chicken and been rushed to the hospital.

But then again, neither one of them is a lawyer. Thank God.

About Author

Michael Becker is a long time activist and a businessman. He's been involved in the pro-life movement since 1976 and has been counseling addicts and ministering to prison inmates since 1980. Becker is a Curmudgeon. He has decades of experience as an operations executive in turnaround situations and in mortgage banking. He blogs regularly at The Right Curmudgeon, The Minority Report, Wizbang, Unified Patriots and Joe for America. He lives in Phoenix and is almost always armed.

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