Who Would Guess Prison Food is Better Than Subway?

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My guess is “Jared from Subway” is getting all the free sex he wants now that he’s in prison…

Apparently, he’s taking advantage of what must be a buffet in the prison where the pedophile is now spending his days.

He’s balooned up to his former fat-ass, perverted self:

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Jared Fogle, ​whose claim he lost 200 pounds on a diet of Subway foot-longs led to his hiring as the sandwich company’s ​spokesman — until he confessed to having sex with teenage prostitutes — ​is reportedly stress-eating behind bars, where he is regularly taunted and threatened.

“He’s really started packing on the pounds again, probably from depression,” a prison insider told In Touch magazine, estimating that Jared has gained 30 pounds.

“Jared’s breakfast is usually Frosted Flakes with fruit or oatmeal with cake. He loves ‘cake day’ in the dining hall twice a week and he buys Honey Buns by the box, as well as other pastries in the commissary on his weekly shopping day. He’s been known to eat an entire box of eight at one sitting.”

He’s regularly taunted by fellow inmates at Colorado’s Federal Correctional Institution in Englewood​, where he’s called “Chomo​,​” short for child molester.

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A recently released inmate from the Colorado lockup recalled an incident when Fogle was called a “dirty child rapist” and the sandwich man made the mistake of talking back. “The inmate slapped him across the cheeks several times and made his face red. Jared just stood there stunned, then ran out of the gym,” the con said..

I wonder if he gets a choice of six-inch or foot-longs in there?

His victims should be able to split up that commercial actor money he’s made over the years…

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About Author

Baron Von Kowenhoven

Baron was just a shy kid with a dream, growing up in the 40's with a knack for story-telling. After a brief career in film, Von Kowenhoven went to Europe in search of fringe-scientific discoveries and returned in the 90's to unleash them on the entertainment and political landscape of America.

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