Political and Lifestyle Advice From Former Unwed Mother and Reality Show Contestant: UPDATE

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UPDATE: Tea Party heroine Sarah Palin as per the worst kept secret of 2016 has endorsed Donald Trump.

Before you get started, I happen to love Ms. Palin because she’s got more balls than 98% of the GOP and she’s hated by all the right people.

Her daughter I can do without, however:

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Bristol Palin came out yesterday with some big-time, multi-syllabic barbs aimed at Senator Ted Cruz and a not-so-thinly-veiled message that her mom was going to endorse Trump, which is so going to destroy Ted Cruz because, well, Bristol says so.

Truth is we all should be taking our lifesyle and political advice from a reality dance show participant, unwed mother an … uh.. conservative?

Oh yeah, Sarah Palin’s daughter!!

Almost forgot… yeah, right.

In a nutshell, here’s what she had to say to something called “Patheos” .com:

“Is my Mom going to endorse Donald Trump for President of the United States?

That’s the rumor, and I’ve been too busy with diapers to delve too much into politics these days. But the rumors were enough to cause staffers from Ted Cruz’s office to slam my mom.”

Here’s what she was referring to:

“I think it [would]be a blow to Sarah Palin, because Sarah Palin has been a champion for the conservative cause, and if she was going to endorse Donald Trump, sadly, she would be endorsing someone who’s held progressive views all their life on the sanctity of life, on marriage, on partial-birth abortion,” Cruz campaign spokesman Rick Tyler said on CNN’s “New Day.”

Bristol then gives the inside scoop!: “I like Cruz. In fact, I met him last year, and I believe anyone’s better than Hilary Clinton. But here’s the thing, Sen. Cruz.  My mom has consistently supported you and encouraged you.  You’ve been a great advocate for conservative causes, and she’s stood by you when others haven’t.”

First of all, Bristol: Shut up. Nobody cares what you think and I know you just want some attention, but it’s no way to go through life.

Second of all, I would hardly say this was “slamming” your mom. My god, we’ve seen people deride your mother with invective and vitriol the likes America has never seen and believe me, your mom doesn’t need your help with this mere summation of how the endorsement may effect Ms. Palin’s standing.

Here’s some more Bristol Brilliance:

“We need someone who has a vision for economic prosperity, who won’t let us get kicked around in the world, and who will fight for our future. I didn’t go to Harvard Law School, but I know this: You can like two people in a race, but there will only one president. The audacity to suggest that because she chooses one over the other will somehow “damage” her just shows arrogance.”

Wait – what? You didn’t go to Harvard Law School? I had no idea you went to Yale – my bad..

I know the rule is that your not supposed to go after the children of candidates and I’m down with that. I’ve never criticized Chelsea Clinton or Al Gore’s son even in the face of Democrats ripping and truly slamming the children of all conservatives.

But Bristol you’re supposedly an adult now with (finally) a husband who has stuck around so far. You’re famous because of your mom and that will never change, unlike the diapers, so stop begging for attention and focus on what’s important, preferably without selling it or it being on the front of a gossip rag, which you’ll regret if husband #2 gets sick of the whole circus.

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Get a life and make sure it’s your own life.

And “Patheos” .com with your tagline “Hosting the conversation on faith” – feel free to shut up, too. You’re not helping.

“LIKE” my Facebook Page – no one turned away!

About Author

Baron Von Kowenhoven

Baron was just a shy kid with a dream, growing up in the 40's with a knack for story-telling. After a brief career in film, Von Kowenhoven went to Europe in search of fringe-scientific discoveries and returned in the 90's to unleash them on the entertainment and political landscape of America.

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