I want to convey to you that you are loved, perhaps more dearly and deeply than you could ever imagine.
The one who loves you that way is Christ. I wanted to say, “Christ, of course.” Most everyone would admit they believe Christ loves them, many would even say of course Christ loves me, but certainly few I have met actually act like it is true.
How many truly have Christ’s peace, his joy and confidence? If we did not shrug and say of course, but took some time to reflect, to feel, to test our doubts and fully understand Christ’s love for us well, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
The reason so few seem to have a true sense of peace and joy is that the world has us well trained to think, feel, and believe just the opposite. Deep wounds from childhood linger, a crazy pace this modern world sets leaving too many struggling just to live, with no time to reflect.
Now I have had a fairly serious spiritual practice for the last six year or so. My practice started my last year on the streets when I was touched by grace in a profound way and began to believe I was worth something after all.
Yet we have many false tendencies and fears they take time and patience to overcome. Christ teachings can seem difficult to follow; I mean who loves there enemies, who forgives up to 70 times? Who, when stolen from, gives the thief something more.
But even without Christ’s teachings if you fully understood the depth of God’s love for you personally, you would awaken fully into the kingdom of heaven, and the idea of not loving and forgiving everyone you came across would seem like the foreign, difficult task.
I liking writing songs and stories, fiction tends to give me good insight into my own psyche. My family, and probably yours too, are not so hot at showing each other love and affection. A lot of time can be spent attacking and defending over petty things. The same thing happens at work or on the social scene. “It has been to long since I felt that I was loved,” is a line from a song I wrote recently, and I was surprised by some tears as I was writing it. When was the last time you felt like you were deeply loved by someone?
The thing is I have been deeply loved for quite some time, even by family members. But my heart had enough barriers around it, I was unwilling to let that love in, afraid it may disappear again at some point, I guess. But my code is starting to crack some.
The other day a good friend of mine, who works at a coffee shop, told me out of the blue, “I just want you to know that you are loved.” It made me smile and hug her. Walking home I was going through an ash bin looking for a long throw away to smoke. A guy inside the gas station must have seen me; he walked out and handed me a fresh smoke. Little acts like that really affect me and inspire a grateful attitude.
That being said, I have many sore spots yet to uncover. The other day at a local high school basketball game, I found myself running down the bleachers screaming at the referees to call some fricking fouls. Little pieces of chewing tobacco were flying out of my mouth and when I was done with my tirade I noticed a bunch of high school kids staring at me with blank and shocked looks on their faces.
But my point is not only are you loved, it is impossible for you not to be loved. Love is who made you and love is who you are, despite all those in this world trying to convince you otherwise. Love is also something no one can take from you and is who you are for eternity. Why do you think all those murdered saints go down with a smile on their face, they know the truth of who they are.
Been too long since you felt that you were loved? Hobo John here, I love you with everything that I have. That is my heart song and the truth of things; you feel me?
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