I have stated my motto and mantra is: I love you with everything that I have. It is slowly healing my heart, but people with wounds like myself, like you, are slow to trust: trust ourselves, trust others. So sometimes my mantra feels more like, I love you the best that I can.
I have always considered myself Christian, but I studied shamanism for a while and still use a drum for meditation. Those folks have helping spirits which we all do I am sure; they call theirs power animals. At any rate I still have dreams about animals now and again. The penguin came to represent survival to me. Penguins are out in the coldest of temperatures night and day, take good care of their young and still seem to have some fun.
When I was first on the streets I would see the penguin symbol four or five times a day; on the side of trucks, on ice bags and other place. I had a very high level of anxiety at that time and that little guy it calmed me some. God was using the symbol of the penguin to let me know everything was going to be all right; that I would survive. After all my soul is forever.
I hadn’t seen the penguin in a while but there he was in a dream the other night. He was frozen in a block of ice believe it or not. I interpreted that to mean that my heart was still a little frozen in survival fear. That if I actually relaxed enough and my heart opened up to the love God has for me and us all, something very bad might happen.
As I type this I realize I still have somewhat of a deserving issue, that if I let go of the ice in my heart God might not be there on the other side, or if I open my heart to other people they might not love me back. But I realize that I am loved by God, by family, by friends, so really there is nothing to fear.
So I love you with everything that I have that is my motto, my mantra and the truth of things. My heart is starting to trust that, and you know that you do not even have to love me back, I love you anyway. Even if you don’t love yourself, like I used to not, I love you anyway. God Bless us all, us human beings.
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