After lengthy negotiations and several missed deadlines, President Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry finally reached an agreement with Iran to let them blow up the world. Iran can now begin developing nuclear weapons with no threat of interference from sanctions or inspections.
Liberal Jews blindly supported a black Marxist and a WASPy Brahmin New Englander with their survival. What could possibly go wrong?
100 years from now when kids study the ruins of the USA and the world and ask about millions dead, survivors will mutter “John Kerry.”
The Iran talks hit a snag when John Kerry begged to convert to Islam and the mullahs said they did not want his radical ideology embarrassing their religion. Kerry’s religion is currently LCC, leftist climate changeism.
Ronald Reagan said it was better to have no deal than a bad deal. John Kerry pined and said, “Maybe if I just lick the Iranian mullahs’ balls a bit softer…”
Iranians knew they had the upper hand when Kerry and Obama began prancing around the room in pink tutus yelling “Yes, we did” after the agreement was signed.
President Obama and John Kerry acted like lovesick junior high school boys. The Iranian mullahs are geriatric men, not hot girls. Even the dumbest of hot girls know we should blow up this relationship already.
Of course John Kerry would get millions of innocents killed to win the Nobel Peace Prize. That’s what the award is for.
Winning the Nobel Peace Prize without getting innocents killed is like trying to win the Miss America pageant without a swimsuit competition.
In Islamist pornography news, the 2015 remake of “Debbie Does Dallas” to be called “John Kerry does Iranian Mullahs.”
As part of the deal, Iran’s mullahs demanded John Kerry surrender Theresa Heinz as booty. Bill Clinton is claiming he yelled “dibs” ages ago. An angry Kerry sternly said, “maybe.”
Only after Iran’s mullahs demanded John Kerry’s yacht did he stomp his feet and briefly walk away from the capitulating table before saying he’d consider it.
When asked if Iran getting a bomb and blowing up the world will cause an explosion powerful enough to dislodge liberal heads from their hides, liberals replied they could not hear the question due to their heads being lodged up their hides.
When Iran gets bombs and starts killing, poetic justice would be if they began with climate change advocates. Those environmental zealots ironically and truly are unable to see the forest for the trees.
Congressional liberal Jews now must decide if they want to become normal Americans and stop Iran or keep drinking from President Obama’s canine’s water dish
John Kerry’s deadline with Iran and President Obama’s red line on Syria are now about as meaningless and vapid as Robin Thicke’s blurred lines.
“Ideologies are not defeated with guns. They are defeated by better ideas.” This was said by a selfie-taking Pajamaboy metrosexual president with only failed ideas.
While John Kerry is taking it up his hide from Iran’s mullahs, more bad news came on the Islamist sexual repression front. Their blow jobs mean bombs, not sex.
When told the myth about Iran sanctions and a “snap back” provision, Bill Clinton reminisced about a Persian girl’s bra he once undid.
Barring a Republican winning the White House in 2016, Iran’s mullahs have about 18 months to blow up the world and end civilization. In the interim, President Obama and John Kerry are expected to celebrate their legacy of failure with 18 months of parades mixed in with some climate change conferences.
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