Dead Man Found Next To Inanimate Object He Likely Had Relations With

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As a funeral director for years working with the medical Examiner’s office, I definitely saw more than my fair share of bizzaro deaths. This guy, however, wins the prize for most awkward death ever. I’m guessing his family is wishing that this love in particular, is best kept secret:

Hey girl heeeey......

Hey girl heeeey……

Neighbors first reported a foul smell coming from the home of Jose Alberto. When officers arrived, they found Alberto lying dead on the floor next to a scarecrow outfitted with red lipstick and a sex toy.

“I initially thought there were two bodies, but then I realised one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig,” prosecuting assistant Rodolfo Moure told The Mirror.

“Straw had been stuffed inside the old clothes that had been sewn together to make the scarecrow,” he continued.

The life-size figure was also adorned with a wig.

Moure confirmed there were “no signs of violence, and we are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow.”

Neighbors say Alberto lived by himself and didn’t own a cell phone.

“We are now waiting the results of an autopsy,” Moury concluded.

Who knows. maybe he died from hay fever. I guess we will have to wait for those autopsy results to be sure.

H/T:Rare

Written by Katie McGuire. Follow Katie on Twitter @GOPKatie, on Facebook, or email the author at KatieFMcGuire@gmail.com

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Katie McGuire

Political Junkie. Mom, Writer, Blogger. Owner of kids and corgis.

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