When I was homeless, I thought I sucked just because I was homeless. I have a masters in social work and there I was out on the streets, getting in dumpsters for food, never bathing, and scaring the locals.
For a long time I was way to ashamed to get in the dumpsters when anyone was around, it was always at night when I could hide my shame.
If nobody loves you and you are feeling like dust
on an empty shelf, just remember you can love yourself
All right folks I consider myself a metaphysicist, which ain’t even actually a word. What I guess I mean is, I like to convey loving messages in short statements, that are easy to understand.
All of them I write, I write for me first, in this journey I am on to locate my kindness, they help me figure out myself in a positive way. But if they can be helpful to others, I am all right with that too.
Then one day I had sort of a revolutionary thought. It went something like this; I was basing my behavior not on what other people thought of me, which would be bad enough, but on what I thought other people thought of me. Well that is one way to go, but it ain’t no way to live.
I really had no way of knowing what others thought of me as a homeless man. So I took a brave step. I started going through the dumpsters when ever I felt like eating something.
I also started going through regular trash cans too, and cigarette ash cans right there in the bright light of day. After a while the shame and embarrassment went away. So whatever you are doing out there with your life, forget about what others think of you, do it with joy and love in your heart.
This leads me to a metaphysic: It is not who you are, or what you are, but only that you are.
You see God cares nothing about status; he doesn’t love you based on how much money you have, how good looking you are, or what you do for a living, even if you don’t do anything for a living.
You are his child and he loves you for that alone.
That makes you an equal to everyone on this planet; so if you happen to find yourself in the company of a bigwig politician, banker, doctor or lawyer, do not feel inferior, step right up and express yourself.
I have been off the streets for over a year and a half now, but I would be perfectly happy going back. Being a hobo is one of the best things a human can be, in my mind.
There is plenty of time to think about stuff, there a lots of wonderful people to make friends with, and you can spend your day doing whatever you like as long as it doesn’t cost a bunch of money.
But I ain’t complaining about my life now either, I am a part of several wonderful communities in my home town, have a lot of friends and a best girl who likes to give me affection.
Our parents are human, but when we are young they are like God’s to us. A lot of times it may feel like they don’t love us for who we are. They may have even done some very bad things to us. So if you are like me, you maybe started trying to be perfect, sort of thinking, well maybe if I am perfect, maybe someone out there will love me.
Well this sets you up for failure, because when you don’t get things perfect you start beating yourself up real bad. Well here is a metaphysic about that: You don’t have to be perfect to accept God’s love, you just have to be. Are you sensing my theme here?
Also the need to be perfect kept me from trying new things, I was sure I was going to mess them up. You can’t make a mistake so why not risk making a few? That is another metaphysic, by the way. It is ok to risk and fail, because you learned something from the risk, that can never be a mistake.
Humans are lousy at conveying love to each other, so you may be 60 years old and still questioning whether anyone loves you. So the idea is you might as well get the job done yourself.
“Nothing is stopping you from loving yourself.” I had that thought late at night when on the streets of Portland, I had stumbled across a bunch of pennies that were laying on the sidewalk and was picking them up, and feeling rather positive about it. But that thought gave me pause. I searched myself a little bit and decided it was true. I get to love myself, I decide I am loveable.
It is true folks there is not one person or one thing in this world that can stop you from loving yourself. So why not risk it, I guarantee you are going to start feeling a whole lot better.
Oh by the way the more you can authentically love yourself, the easier it is to love and forgive others, including yourself; cause admit it you have been rude a time or two. You will also find it is much easier for others to love you as well.
Hobo John here, I love you with everything that I have, that is my motto. my mantra and the truth of things. Peace to you, have a wonderful day.
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