Vladimir Putin is a Douchebag

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Vladimir Putin says Americans in fact aren’t exceptional? Really? Well here’s the thing, Vlad:

The last time I checked we were 4-0 against you, including a Cold War where we freed up around 100 million of your imprisoned countrymen and women. You’re a douche and the libtard left-wing, ignorant douchies here in America who admire you and any form of Socialist system are douchebags too.

putin

I very rarely wear a shirt, but when I do – I make it a wife-beater

And let me tell you , oh shirtless wonder – a lot of those Eastern European women you had your jackboots on are over here now, getting a taste of the free world – and they don’t have much good to say about Russian men, either.

Apparently, you’re a bunch of macho, abusive, loud, impolite, misogynist, smelly, jerk-offs who aren’t that great in the sack, Vlad.

You might want to learn how to hold a woman’s coat – if you know what I’m saying – before you go around claiming that I’m not exceptional, because according to Victoria down in Culver City – I am.

But I digress..

Yes, we have a bunch of douche bags and douche bagettes (like that?) running the joint now, but it won’t be long. Don’t make the mistake of bringing your scrawny ass Russian whatever to a Harley fight, okay?

Here’s the deal, Vlad:

victoria

How do you say “green card” in English?

In America, you have to compete. In Russia, you don’t – you just have to move up the Communist food chain. In other words, in America the best is brought out and in Russia, the worst is brought out.

You get to the top by knifing people in the back – in your case, through the KGB and a lot of your personal shenanigans are well documented. Even as a child, you were a thug – a bully.

You spent your KBG years in East Germany, no doubt with your boot on the necks of plenty oppressed folks surrounded by a wall. Was that wall to keep people out or in?

All you have to do is watch which way they ran when it came down. What fun a bully must have had in total power over poor folks behind the iron curtain? East German intelligence also reports you were “a philanderer and a wife-beater” during your stint there.

Real nice guy, you douchebag.

You worked for Anatoly Sobchak, the corrupt (even by Soviet standards) Mayor of St. Petersburg until he was forced to flee for his life.

As a child, Putin was reportedly a thug. Putin likes to say he was a "bully, not a pioneer".

… and a little douchebag

What did you learn from him, Vlad? He must have had something on you to meet his untimely and suspicious death in 2000 – eh?

And now you’re runnning the place?

Ex-KGB agent Alexander Litvinenko, died in London from radiation poisoning in 2006. He claimed a series of apartment bombings organized by Russia’s secret service swept Putin into the president’s office and his book about the incident “Blowing Up Russia“, was one of the most complete investigations on the apartment bombings (Putin has banned the book it in Russia – there’s a shocker).

Putin, then prime minister, pledged direct action against the Chechen rebels who were thought to be behind the attacks, pledging to wipe them out even “in the outhouse”. He was soon elected with 53 percent of the vote. Take advantage of a crisis? How about commit a crisis to take advantage of?

Listen to their Obama-like explanation when they got caught: From Business Insider–

“On 22nd September 2009 the city of Ryazan, an attack was apparently halted by an eagle-eyed member of the public, who was also able to give descriptions of two people who appeare to have planted explosives. A bomb squad came in and found tested the substances, declaring them explosives and defusing them.

Two days later the FSB (the successor to the KGB) announced that the explosives were in fact sugar and that the bombing attempt was just a training exercise committed by the agency.”

Oh, brother..

Now we’re not proud of our current leader and how he got there and our system is obviously flawed – but the good news is our system also self-corrects and we’ll soon have another Reagan at the helm… Ooh, did I hit a nerve there?

In the west, much of Putin's reputation is built upon his frequent publicity stunts, apparently designed to show off his masculine strength.That’s right, Ronald Reagan. The man who busted up your empire – your once Super Power.

You’re not going to have Barack Obama as your BFF forever Vlad because we have a little something over here we call “elections” with “candidates.”

It’s awesome. In fact, it’s exceptional.

And you’re a douchebag along with your sympathizers here in the media, academia, left-wing government, Hollywood and on social media who love living in this country – but are a bunch of liberal douchebags anyway..

PS: Everyone hates you. Go wrestle a shark. Douchebag.

Friend me on Facebook – if you dare. No one turned away.

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Merkel told Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung newspaper in an interview published on Thursday: “The G7 and former G8 group has always viewed itself as a community of values.

The annexation of Crimea, which is a blatant violation of the principles of international law, and the events in eastern Ukraine are serious violations of these common values.” Merkel also repeated her stance that Europe could not consider lifting sanctions against Russia as long as the reasons for imposing them still applied.

About Author

Baron Von Kowenhoven

Baron was just a shy kid with a dream, growing up in the 40's with a knack for story-telling. After a brief career in film, Von Kowenhoven went to Europe in search of fringe-scientific discoveries and returned in the 90's to unleash them on the entertainment and political landscape of America.

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