Post-Election 2014 Liberal Bloodbath Update:

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The 2014 election was a bloodbath for Democrats. Liberals from the top down took drastic measures in a failed effort to try and keep their power.

A desperate President Obama threatened Democrats to get and vote and save the Senate or he would quit and leave Vice President Biden in charge.

democrat_donkey_on-target1Despite Democrat accusations, Republicans will not harm minorities if they win. However, white Metrosexual Pajamaboy will be given a deserved overdue @ss-kicking.

Obama blamed George W. Bush for the 2014 elections. Had Dubya violated the Constitution and won a third term, Obama would not have won and failed.

Dubya knew Obama would fail yet stayed silent. This is proof it was all  Dubya’s fault.

For guys watching the election returns while pantsless, they needed to understand that other restaurant customers may not like this.

Obama did not have time to watch election coverage. He has tons of work to not do. He cannot both ignore his job and watch television.

Obama announced Daylight Savings time Wednesday. He is issuing an executive order to turn the clocks back to Tuesday so Democrats can keep the Senate. He justified this by claiming the GOP is anti-sunshine.

Obama is expected to announce that he is switching his party affiliation from Democrat to Republican to make the GOP brand toxic for generations.

A desperate Obama held a news conference endorsing all GOP candidates in the hopes that the backlash against him would help Democrats.

Obama’s entire coalition is now rich white liberals who he keeps making richer and poor blacks who he keeps making poorer.

Two days after the Republicans won the Senate, zero of them shot blacks, beat gays, or imprisoned women. They were busy preparing to fix Obama’s messes.

They will not reinstitute slavery, throw Jews into ovens, or force women into back-allies. They will probably focus on cutting taxes and killing Radical Islamists.

Despite the Democrat mailers and phone calls, rest assured minorities. Republicans will not be killing you. The only thing killing you is the economy Obama failed to fix and the terrorists Obama fails to stop.

Those who put down the New York Times, Salon Ragazine and MSNBC woke up on Wednesday alive and healthy, except with a better Senate.

In impeachment news, on Wednesday Obama was expected to impeach incoming GOP senators, citing North Korea as his governing model.

Election day was the last day for President Obama to pretend that he likes and respects liberal Jews. Expect obtuse liberal Jews to be shocked.

Election day was the last day for liberal Democrats to torch black churches and beat women in allies while blaming it on conservative Republicans.

House Speaker John Boehner said that the president will “burn” if he keeps acting the way he is. MSNBC, the New York Times and CBS News are considering the headline “Boehner to lynch President.”

If one wants to live in a world with only old white people, look at the people leading liberal New York and California. Barbara Boxer is around 126 years old and she is the youth movement of crotchety ancient white leftists leading these movements.

How can the GOP work with a president who has never worked and based on his aptitude has no idea what working people do?

Perhaps he can go to the blackboard and draw a postulate on what he thinks work is. Talking is not work. Neither is navel-gazing. Neither is teaching a class on how to navel-gaze while tilting one’s head in a manner that conveys looking busy at work.

Working means “doing” actual “things.” Somebody in his administration is expected to buy the president a thesaurus and draw him a diagram of somebody doing something.

Such concepts are above his pay grade. So President Jarrett gave cherub Obama his bottle and sent him to bed so the adults could get to work.

When not one elected Republican was discovered lynching blacks, stoning gays, beating women, or tossing Jews into ovens, liberals demanded more data.

Angry liberals show conservative refusal to engage in bigotry as proof of bigotry. Liberals declare that any conservative rejection of any leader’s bad policies to be bigoted. When asked to show evidence of bigotry, liberals blathered on about climate change. Bored conservatives fell asleep. Liberals described this slumber as evil and declared anti-boredom to be bigoted.

These same liberals demanded that we “come together” to “get things done.” When asked if the GOP would be bigoted if they said yes or no to working with liberals, the liberals replied “both.”

Palestinian suicide bombers, inbetween bouts of giggling, threatened to behead the Zionist collaborator who stole their playbook.

Saying the president wants to “work with Republicans to get things done” like saying Palestinians are a “partner for peace” with Israel.

After watching his post-election temper tantrum, Palestinian suicide bombers praised the president and vowed to work harder to blow it all up. They then invited Israelis to the Gaza White House just for a friendly “coming together.”

Obama was unyielding in his post-election tirade, proving that liberals and Palestinians are the only people on earth delusional enough to think they get to dictate terms of anything after they lose.

In 2008 MSNBC’s Chris Matthews had a thrill up his leg. Now it seems he either has gout or shingles.

Bloodbath Part II began Wednesday when rats started jumping ship and the Obama and Hillary teams began the process of spending two years sabotaging each other. The knives are coming out. Lady Macbeth is already plotting to take down Othello.

Iowa Senator Joni Ernst slaughters hog testicles. In related news, Harry Reid just got neutered.

Harry Reid is expected to go back to his old job as the lead character in “Weekend at Bernies.”

In failed presidential limerick news:

“There once was a prez with big ears.

Who ruled with the madness of King Lear.

Stubborn to the core,

A colossally rejected bore,

His reign tragically worthy of Shakespeare.”

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