Crazy Charlie Rides Again

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Does Charles Rangel even know what party he works for?

I have to wonder because he seems to labor away in a strange parallel world where conservative Republicans were plantation owners and slave masters in the Old South, and the Democratic Party was the human rights hero leading the North to victory.

It’s a world far enough departed from reality that even liberal-marinated public schools only go near it tentatively, suggesting that Democrats and Republicans somehow swapped personalities during the Civil Rights era, but still grudgingly conceding that Lincoln was a Republican.

Crazy Charlie was on his high horse again Thursday, during a rally for New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, as reported by the Business Insider.

After trotting out his fantastical worldview and comparing GOP members to Confederate slave owners, he bellowed that some Republicans “believe slavery isn’t over.”

“We have to win,” he said, as if he were warning Tokyo that Godzilla was approaching. “We have to be able to send a national message with Andrew Cuomo. And the thing is: Everything we believe in — everything we believe in — they hate. They don’t disagree — they hate! They think if you didn’t come from Europe 30 years ago, you didn’t even make it. Some of them believe that slavery isn’t over and they think they won the Civil War!”

Umm. …

Of course, “they” did win the Civil War, which someone might want to point out to Charlie is why slavery was abolished.

I don’t even know what the “from Europe 30 years ago” thing is. I suppose, Crazy Charlie being Crazy Charlie, it’s supposed to be some sort of reference to being white, as if Europe has no other skin tones available. Thirty years ago was the middle of the Reagan Era, though, so your guess is as good as mine what he’s going for there.

As for “hating” what Democrats believe in, I personally try to reserve hate for the results of what they believe in, while I usually just regard their actual beliefs as foolishness. People don’t often get to disagree with what Democrats believe because before the first word of protest leaves conservatives’ lips, the Democrats have already started yelling, marching and organizing boycotts.

That wasn’t the end of Rangel’s epileptic rant, however. He apparently is receiving messages from Heaven.

“Everything we’re doing is God’s work,” he said, “education, health care, affordable housing, discrimination, paying people the minimum wage.”

Let’s check that scorecard before we blame God.

Education — The DP has definitely managed to worsen that on many levels, from funding to results, so that’s an F.

Health care — People who weren’t insured aren’t signing up; people who wanted to keep their doctors lost them instead; and premiums are definitely going through the roof, so that’s another Fail.

Affordable housing — The Democrats have not made housing affordable in general, and government-controlled housing projects are usually slums, so Fail.

Discrimination — Now that, the Democrats have definitely managed to increase by perpetually classifying everyone by skin color or by their genitalia, real or imagined, so that gets a passing grade. That might not be what Rangel meant, however.

Paying people the minimum wage — Here’s another winner for Democrats. They have definitely managed to put more people on minimum wage than the Republicans. Way to go, guys. Though again, maybe that’s not what Charlie thought he was saying.

So final scorecard: 2 out of 5, and there’s some question of interpretation.

Somehow, I’m not convinced that’s enough to get Crazy Charlie into Heaven.

About Author

Tad Cronn is a member of an endangered species, the California conservative. Once abundant, California conservatives have seen their habitat increasingly overrun and heavily regulated by Los Angeles liberals and other non-native rodent species. This makes surviving conservatives such as Tad very grumpy and prone to sarcasm. Feed him at your own risk.

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