5 Things New Fathers Should Know (But No One Ever Told Them)

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fathers(H/T Kirk Cameron)

It’s truly one of the most anticipated, exciting, scary, and defining moments in the life of new fathers – bringing home your newborn baby.

Up until the birthday, your wife has done the heavy lifting (literally) of raising your child.  But now, it’s time to share the joy of nurturing and caring for your son or daughter.

You’ve read the baby books.  You’ve read the parenting books.  You’re prepared for everything, right? Um, probably not EVERYTHING.

On behalf of veteran fathers everywhere, here are 5 things new fathers should know (but no one ever told them):

1.  Poop Defies Gravity – I don’t know how many times a diaper change has turned into bath time because poop has somehow blown out the back of her diaper, traveled UP the back of her onesie, and nearly reached the back of her head! It defies physics. It defies logic. But it happens. Often.

2.  Spit-Up Will Happen When You Least Expect It – I’ll never forget watching my daughter smile at me for the first time. I was on the floor raising and lowering her to my face, triggering a smile as our noses touched each time. Trying to repeat the feat the next day, I got on the floor and extended her in my arms above my head. As I was lowering her to touch noses, a volcanic eruption of spit-up landed on my face.  Without warning.  As a bonus heads-up, there are three things you should know about spit-up:

  1. It burns the eyes
  2. It tastes awful
  3. You will never forget 1 & 2

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