News flash: Men and women are different.
Hundreds of books and articles have been written about how to overcome the differences and live happily ever after. You’d think we’d have it figured out by now.
Navigating through the advice, however, and choosing what works best is a challenge of its own because not even the therapists agree.
Here’s a humorous look at what I call “Dueling Experts.”
Alison Armstrong, author of Making Sense of Men says women make seven critical mistakes. That’s debatable. Here are a few:
Mistake #1: Seeing men as hairy misbehaving women.
Women take everything personally, Armstrong says. When a man doesn’t do what we want, we think he doesn’t love us, care about us or respect us.
Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, authors of the book He’s Just Not That Into You say: If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.
When a man doesn’t do what I want I figure he just doesn’t know what’s good for him. Because, trust me, doing what I want is good for him. It ensures an encore performance.
Mistake #2: Reading into his words.
Take men literally. If he says he’s busy Saturday night, it means he’s busy Saturday night, Armstrong says.
Oops, not according to Behrendt and Tuccillo:
“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” Behrendt and Tuccillo claim that if a woman is important to a man, he finds time for her.
On a rare occasion a woman’s expectations may not be in sync with a man’s schedule. But time after time of excusing himself as “busy” means [insert sport here]is more important and the relationship is on the brink of collapse.
Mistake #4: Interrupting when he’s speaking.
Instead, listen to what he says. When he’s finished, listen some more.
When he’s finished talking, keep listening? Awkward.
Mistake #6: Believing a man is ignoring you.
You’ve probably accused your guy of ignoring you while he’s driving or watching TV. He really isn’t. He just can’t do two things at once.
If your guy can’t drive and converse at the same time, he should see a doctor.
Perhaps if men stopped expecting women to communicate like men, and women stopped trying to get men to communicate like women, we would have enough energy left to appreciate how each sex complements the other in a wonderful way.
Life would be pretty boring if men and women were the same. And I’m not referring to naughty bits here!
by T.M. Burroughs
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