5 Reasons We’re Screwed

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imagesWhile I’m surfing the news today, the thought that the nation is screwed just kind of washed over me. But I’ll list the first few stories I came across and you decide.

Pick your favorite or least favorite, as the case may be and tell me if I’m nuts or just having a bad day. Because honestly, I feel like quitting and moving to Salt Cay. SaltCay

People in the mainstream media are always bitching about Christians and how we want to force our values on everybody.

The truth is, we might want to actually start forcing our values on everybody here pretty soon.

I don’t know – read these headlines and stories and get back to me. Maybe send me some I missed. Whatever..

By Rodney Lee Conover: #1) “Washington DC to Tax Healthy Lifestyles”

yoga

This one is “Downward Facing Cleavage”

The District of Columbia is looking at a 5.75% sales tax on gyms, yoga studios and other health club services as part of its fiscal 2015 budget.

Other services that would be subject to the tax include bowling and billiards, car washes, carpet cleaning and water delivery…

… I’ve been to DC and trust me, most residents there will not be affected – they’ll be lucky to raise $200..

Edward Snowden

Man I wish they had yoga in Russia.. so lonely.

#2) “NSA Can Listen Through iPhone When It’s Off”
Edward Snowden leaked last month that the NSA can eavesdrop through the microphones of cell phones even when they’re switched off — a claim that a team of security experts have now confirmed is within Apple’s iPhone software..

… So that’s who’s always waking me up complaining about my snoring!

dominatrix#3) “Investigation: Planned Parenthood Using Tax Payer Funds to Teach Children Violent Sex Acts”
Counselors advising girls that pain and injury during sex is acceptable and normal, videos encouraging girls as young as fifteen to use whips, handcuffs, gags, bondage, dominatrix-play and even asphyxiation — deprivation of oxygen — during sex, and encouraging teens to experiment with sadism, masochism, degradation and pain…

… I guess it could be worse – those kids could have encountered Planned Parenthood while still in the womb?

 

170313-get-smart#4) You have to read this one in your best Maxwell Smart voice:

“Just outside Pittsburgh, in a house owned by a former NFL player, Police have seized 1,500 bricks of heroin, 16 firearms, $100,000 in cash, two luxury vehicles, some Cuban cigars and a live chicken..”

… What no Boy Scout with a pea shooter?

 

AND FINALLY:

You must excuse the graphic nature of this story – but it’s everywhere now: #5) “I had a sexual relationship with a dolphin”
23-year-old Margaret Howe, an assistant to a neurologist trying to teach a dolphin to speak in 1965 instead began a sexual relationship with the mammal, who “fell in love with her.” The young woman eventually gave into the dolphin’s advances and began having “encounters with – I can’t even say a dolphin again – Peter..”

evil-dolphinsA few weeks later, the experiment ended, the dolphin was shipped away and Peter committed suicide, with a veterinarian ruling his cause of death as ‘a broken heart.’…

… Apparently, she was able to teach him how to say; “what’s a nice girl like you doing in an ocean like this?”
AND THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR NEWS?

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email Rodney Lee Conover: kowenhoven@gmail.com

rodney on tap

Sugar? No thanks, I’m sweet enough..

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About Author

Rodney Lee Conover

Rodney Lee Conover is a writer, producer and Senior Editor at JoeForAmerica.com

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