SOTU: Small man praises self, blames everybody else

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I’ve got no time for this.

You saw the title, so you could skip the 90-minute torture session masquerading as the 2014 State of the Union address.

cj_wileyTonight the 90 minutes His Royal Highness drones on will feel like a year. And I don’t know about you, but I would rather be just about anywhere else than in front of a TV with sharp instruments in the house. Practically anywhere else will do. But as it so happens, I do have important things to do. I’ll be shooting 9-ball in a local watering hole. This is Texas, and I guarantee they won’t playing that speech on the TV.

I haven’t read the advance releases from the Democrat fog machine, or read what the insiders have to say. But do you really have to? Here’s pretty much the show:

  • Hey! Unemployment’s down to 6.7% I did that!
  • And Republicans want you to stay poor!
  • Income equality! I’ll fix it by raising the minimum wage on those mean businesses that want you to starve!!
  • Those evil Republicans want to make their friends wealthy on the back of your hard labor, so I’ll just fix it myself!
  • Yep! Got a pen and a phone. Who needs Congress, right?
  • And by the way, did I mention that your enemies are those greedy rich Republicans and their cronies in Big Business?
  • Thanks to me, many people now have medical insurance coverage!
  • Thanks to me! Did I mention that? If not, let me reiterate, I am one awesome dude! Yes? Do you like the crease of my pants?
  • And if those Republicans in Congress – those mean, selfish rich men – didn’t block my every move, America would have made even more progress.
  • Oh, and Rush Limbaugh and Fox News keep piling on me! Because of them, I can’t get Republicans to like me!
  • And the economy (which I just said was great) is STILL Bush’s fault!
  • And I just can’t get any fair coverage from the media!
  • And global warming! Bad Tea Party!

Same as every other day. Our little tin-pot dictator runs the country in to the ground, spits on our Constitution, and blames everybody else when things don’t work out. Sure don’t need to waste 90 minutes hearing it. I’ve got important stuff do to.

Rack ’em up.mary_avina

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The weapons had evolved, but our orders remained the same: Hunt them down and kill them off, one by one. A most successful campaign. Perhaps too successful. For those like me, a Death Dealer, this signaled the end of an era. Like the weapons of the previous century, we, too, would become obsolete. Pity, because I lived for it.

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